12 Days in Sparta
by MDLady
Summary: Sergeant Lonnie Jamison is worried about his old high school crush, Francie. He feels partly responsible for her losing her child. When Francie's cousin comes to help her out, will she bring more worries for him? ***Based off the In The Heat of the Night episode "Littlest Victim." Feel free to review and offer advice. Peace.
1. Chapter 1

**Friday, July 31st**

The house was quiet as I stepped outside for my run. The outside proved the same.

Tyler road was a pretty, quiet, tree lined street, typical of any small country town. Some of the houses were so grand, and some not so much. Francie's house needed some obvious TLC. It was a tiny yellow country house with white shutters and a small front porch. It was a bit run down, but it was nothing that a good cleaning and some flowers couldn't fix.

It was so peaceful here, even at 9am. A big change from what I was used to back home in Baltimore.

The thought of stepping into the sun made me pause just a second, but I didn't want to slack while I was here, so, I dropped my towel on the porch and headed to the edge of the street. I looked both ways to try to decide the least humid way to run. I turned right and headed over the tracks. After about 3 minutes, I realized I must have picked the wrong way.

My mind turns on when I run. It goes in a million directions all at once, but that's how I get stuff done. This morning, my mind was on Cay. This was the first time we have been apart and I was missing her terribly. I thought about the usual stuff, too; work, school, and family. I even started worrying about the plane ride home, a head start on the panic I guess.

The more urgent thought, was about Francie and what on earth I could do to help her. I'm only here for a week and a half. At best, I can help her get the house in order, but there's no way I'm going to be able to get her baby back.

When she called last week and told me what was going on, I almost told her that maybe this was best for the baby and her, at least until she got herself together. I knew all about her drinking problem and I knew she needed help, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything. For a brief second I put myself in her shoes, which was pretty easy to do. We're both single moms and we both have had our struggles, but we are also both lucky enough to have family that is ready and able to help us.

How did she get to the point of her own family turning away from her? They had always been so supportive, even after she got pregnant. But now ...

She promised me that there would be no drinking while I was here. In fact, my first rule of coming down was that at no time would alcohol be allowed in the house. I gave up my vacation with Cay to come help her, the least she could do is to show me that she is making an effort.

After my run, my first order of business was to get her up and motivated. There was laundry to do and cleaning to finish, and then to find a way to get her over to see the baby.

My understanding was that she hadn't seen him in a few days so I know her heart was hurting. It was my job to find a way to get her over to children's services. Her car was broke down, my funds were limited, and my aunt and uncle refused to deal with her monetarily at all, understandably. That and the fact that I know exactly zero other people in this town made for a problem. I had to come up with something.

With somewhat of a to-do list in my head I turned to make the trek back home.

As the tracks came into view, so did the police car out front of the house. As I got closer, I realized that the engine was running and an officer was sitting behind the wheel. I saw that he was young, black, and cute, and he was reading a paperback book. He rolled down the window as I walked up to the car.

"Is everything okay, officer?"

"Yes ma'am. Just waiting on another officer." He nodded towards Francie's.

"He's in there?" I started to move toward the house when he answered.

"Yes ma'am. But everything's fine. He's just checking on a friend."

I called out a thank you to him, as I headed for the door.

When I came into the house, it took my eyes a minute to adjust from the sunlight. When I finally could see, I was surprised to see Francie sitting on the couch, alone. I wiped the sweat from my face and I asked her if everything was okay. She looked irritated.

"Yea, everything's just fine. Don't I look fine?" She was definitely _not_ in a good mood.

At those words the other officer looked out from the kitchen. "Mornin'," he nodded to me.

"Morning to you," I nodded back.

He went back into the kitchen and a few minutes later came out with a cup of coffee. He took it over to Francie, who sat up a bit, but still looked snippy.

"Here ya go, France."

The words tall, dark, and handsome came directly to mind. He was easily 6'2" and somewhat lanky. He had a deep southern drawl and he was definitely cute, all kinds of it, and he was here checking on Francie, so maybe that was a sign of good things to come for her.

"Cath, this is Officer Lonnie Jamison, remember, I told ya 'bout _him_?" Her snippiness continued.

She had told me on the phone that an old friend who was now a police officer was responsible for her losing the baby. Right at this moment I wanted to shake his hand, but I thought better of it. He looked at me and smiled a bit, and politely offered his hand to me.

"Just Lonnie, and do tell, I'm interested to know the details of _that_ conversation."

I quickly wiped my hand on the towel before I took his, and introduced myself. "I'm Francie's cousin, Cathy. Well really, just Cath, and she just filled me in on what happened is all. Nothing too damning."

I tried to lighten the mood. "This was really nice of you to stop in to check on her. Wasn't it Francie?"

I looked at her with a stern cousinly look. She looked less than thrilled. In my head I was screaming, _girl, you are a fool!_ She just ignored us both and took a sip of her coffee.

"Well, Cath," he looked at me and shrugged his shoulders, "was nice meetin' ya. I gotta head on out. I did just wanna stop in to see how things were comin' along and see if there was any word on when the baby was comin' home. The house is lookin' better."

I smiled. "Nice to meet you, too." I looked around the living room. "We're still working on it, but it's getting there. We're hoping to hear something about the baby soon."

He smiled and headed for the door. He turned back to Francie and looked as if he was going to say something, glanced back at me, nodded a farewell, and left.

"Francie, are you blind? Did you not see that man right here checking on you, worried about you and the baby!?"

The anger on her face multiplied. "He ain't worried 'bout nobody! He's just tryin' to make up for makin' me lose Bobby in the first place! He feels bad 'bout what he did and that's all!"

I honestly think you could see a flash from the light as the bulb on top of my head went off. I ran out the door.

"Officer Jamison, do you have a second?"

He was just getting into the car and then stepped back out when he heard my call. He took off his sunglasses.

"Call me Lonnie, please."

I smiled. "Okay, Lonnie. Listen, I am sorry for that." I motioned toward the house.

"It's all right," he said. "I imagine she's still sore at me. I understand. I'd do it again. It was real bad in there."

"I know, and I do understand. I'd like to ask a favor if I could ...It's been quite a few days since she's seen the baby. Her car is broke down and I have no way of getting her over to children's services, can you offer advice or assistance?"

Without pause he offered help. "Well, I get off duty at 3. I can be here 'round 3:30. Will that work?"

"Yes! Thank you ...really. And thank you for stopping by to check on her. She is very lucky to have a friend like you."

"I bet she'd disagree on that friend part," he said. He looked genuinely sad as he spoke, and I had even more hope for Francie.

I nodded understandingly.

"Will you be comin' along to see the baby?" he asked.

"Well, I had planned on it, but if there's a problem ..."

He smiled the sweetest smile. "No ma'am. No problem at all. I'll see ya 'round 3:30."

He nodded another farewell and got in the car.

"I'll see you then. And thanks ...again."

As I pulled the screen door open I looked back at him, to see him, looking at me.

* * *

The day dragged on so hot. The only AC that she had was in the bedroom so we took frequent breaks. During those breaks we laid across the bed and talk about old times and future plans. On a few of the breaks, I talked Lonnie up a bit hoping to spark some interest in what seemed like a decent man with a good job, but she was having none of it. She didn't care for him in high school and she cares even less for him now after everything that's happened. I tried to make her understand why he did what he did, but she didn't want to hear it.

There was a small part of me, just a speck, that was thankful that she felt that way. I don't know why. I don't know why I felt anything at all. I was here to help her out, and I was leaving in just over a week. No me time was to be had.

We did manage to get everything done that we had planned. The house looked great. Looking around now, I could tell it was not a bad place at all when it was managed well. She could raise the baby here just fine if she would get her act together.

Francie was very excited and a little nervous to be going to see the baby. She looked so pretty with her hair up in a cute 'do. The dress she was wearing was a little dated, but still very feminine and fitting for the occasion. I wondered if Lonnie would notice.

He showed up around 3:45. We were ready and waiting.

Just before he got here I made sure that Francie realized that regardless of what happened between him and her, that he didn't have to do this at all, to be nice and be grateful. I was relieved when he got here that she went up to him and offered him a genuine thanks for taking the time to help her out. It showed on his face that he was somewhat relieved, too. Maybe there was some interest there after all.

He apologized for being late but explained that his car only held two people, so he had to borrow a pickup truck from one of the guys that just came on duty.

He was the southern gentleman that I knew he would be and opened the truck door for us. I made sure Francie got in first. She wasn't thrilled, but maybe I was still hopeful that she would warm up to him.

It ended up being a pretty quiet ride over to Children's Services, with no real conversation. I did enjoy looking out at the huge fields and the wide open countryside. It was beautiful. The trip only lasted about ten minutes due to the fact that Sparta was a relatively small town.

The Children's Services building was a huge old Victorian house that was now being used as some type of orphanage. There were kids playing in the yard and babies on blankets under huge shade trees. There were a few ladies sitting in the grass just relaxing and talking while keeping an eye on the kids. It seemed like a happy place.

We thanked Lonnie and told him the we would find a way home, but he insisted on waiting in the truck and I thought that was another good sign for Francie.

When we got up to the huge front porch there was a kindly looking older woman at the door waiting.

"Afternoon, Mrs. Barrett," Francie said. Her anxiousness clearly written on her face.

"Good afternoon ladies. Francie, I'm so glad you finally came. Bobby should just be waking up from his nap."

We headed for the door when Mrs. Barrett said that she wanted Francie to come in alone because she wanted to talk with her privately. I completely understood, so I walked over to the glider at the end of the porch and sat down.

The sound of kids playing and laughing lightened my heart a little. It not only looked like a happy place, it sounded like it, too. It made me miss Cay even more than I did.

I was enjoying the atmosphere for just a few moments when I noticed Lonnie coming up the walkway. He was so handsome and to my liking, a very casual dresser, almost matching my style. A true jeans and t-shirt kind of guy ...and cowboy boots.

Damn.

Maybe, I would use this opportunity to talk Francie up to him. It was hard, but I had to squash the urge just to get to know him for my own personal reasons.

He came right over to the glider. "Mind if I sit a spell?"

"Not at all."

We sat in silence for a few minutes just taking in the sights and sounds. It was not an awkward silence at all, at least not for me.

He finally started the conversation.

"How long ya in town for?"

"Another week, or so."

"Where from?"

"Baltimore."

Cue the talking up of Francie. "I uh, hear you had a thing for Francie in high school."

He smiled a bit and suddenly found his hands very interesting. "I did, I guess. Is that what she told ya on the phone?"

"No. We talked a bit after you left this morning."

"Is that all she said?"

I smiled. "Well, she did say you were quite the ladies' man, always with a different girl on your arm."

"That was a long time ago. She had her mind on someone else, so ...What do ya do up there in Baltimore?"

"I'm a substitute teacher by day and I waitress some nights. Not for much longer, though. In a year I'll have my teaching degree and hopefully find myself a job. Have you seen Francie's baby? I bet he is adorable." I kept bringing it back to Francie.

And he kept bringing it back to me. "You're a busy lady. Ya know what they say about all work and no play?"

"No time for playing in my life. Not yet, anyway ...The baby is adorable, isn't he?"

He looked right at me. "Yea, I guess he is. Though, the last time I seen him he was hungry and dirty."

Now, I found my own hands of interest. "You know," I said, "she really is a good mother. I can see it in her. She just needs help to get off the booze and to get away from the guy she's seeing. Ever think of asking her out on a date for old time's sake?"

He looked a little on edge now. I think he realized I was trying to play matchmaker.

"No, I haven't. This isn't high school. She's very different than she used to be, and so am I. I'm not interested, okay?"

We were quiet for a minute before he continued. "Listen, I know ya want to help her, but I ain't it. I don't think I could raise another man's child. It's just my way."

A small piece of my heart broke off. I felt it lumped in my throat and I swallowed hard.

Maybe he noticed the change in my face, because he added, "I reckon I'd like a few of my own youngin's, someday. Just not now."

There went the rest of my heart completely shattered all over that porch. I fought back the tears. It wasn't meant for me, but it stung.

I'll be leaving in ten days and never see this guy ever again and yet, he completely broke my heart.

There was nothing left to talk about for Francie or for me. I was done. I got up and headed down to the big shade trees leaving Lonnie on the porch. I asked one of the ladies if I could hold a baby, and when she said yes, I sat down on the grass and picked up the little girl closest to me. I really missed Cay.

Francie came out about an hour later. She was so sad leaving the baby here but something that Mrs. Barrett said, had her spirits up and looking toward the future. I was happy for her.

The three of us headed back to the truck to go home. Lonnie asked if we would like to stop for pizza. I waited for Francie's answer before I said anything. She said it sounded good and asked me if I was up for it. I was still upset from Lonnie's words and I was really in no mood to chat, so I asked if they could drop me off at the house. This clearly wasn't what he had in mind, but Francie was oblivious. She was still on cloud nine from the visit with the baby.

He told me that the pizza place in the square had the best pizza in 3 counties. I thanked him for the offer but asked if he could take me home first. He looked a little disappointed but I didn't care. In my mind, he was getting that date with her, rather he wanted it or not. Francie opened the truck door and quietly insisted that I get in first. I didn't care who sat where.

Lonnie and I were quiet the whole way home. Francie did enough talking for both of us. She filled us in on her visit with Bobby and told us how long it might take before she could bring him home. She told us all about the treatment program in Jackson and how eager she was to get started. She also promised me that the next time we went over, I would be able to see the baby. She was happy and actually looking forward to the future.

When we turned down Tyler road, Francie made a noise that sounded almost like a squeal. There was a car out front of her house. I had no clue who it was, so I asked.

"It's Nick," she said, smiling.

Lucky me. I'll finally get to meet him.

We pulled up behind the car and I could see two guys sitting in the front seat. As she opened the door, we started sliding across to get out. She stopped and looked back at Lonnie. "Thank you for the invitation Lonnie, but it looks like I have company ...and thanks again for the ride."

"Don't mention it."

He looked at the two men getting out of the car and watched Francie walk over to them.

I was just about to get out of the truck, when he stopped me. "Cath, are ya sure you wouldn't like some supper?"

He had taken off his sunglasses. I didn't care that he had beautiful eyes.

"Thanks, but no. I'm going to stay here with Francie."

"Listen, I'm sorry if I came off harsh earlier—"

"Lonnie, it's no big deal, really. Thank you for taking us to see the baby. I really do appreciate it."

He had no way of knowing how his words hurt me, and it was really none of his business why, so I kept my personal life, personal.

I turned and headed into the house to meet the infamous Nick. I never looked back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Saturday, August 1st**

After only two days of Sparta, Mississippi, I knew I could never live in the South. It was barely 10am and it was already stifling.

Francie was still asleep and since it was cooler outside than in the living room, I decided to take my iced tea out on the porch to do some reading.

Differentiating Instruction was hardly a page-turner, but It was needed for my next class which was a few short weeks away. I brought it with me hoping to get most of it done before I headed back to the craziness that is my life. I started reading but could hardly concentrate with the heat and thinking about yesterday.

I'm pretty sure that in the past 24 hours, I've felt every emotion known; worry, excitement, joy, and pain. I even felt surprise when Nick turned out not to be a total jerk, after all. He was no Prince Charming, for sure ...and it was a sober night, per the agreement I had with Francie. But he was obviously crazy about her and somewhat sociable.

It ended up being a pretty quiet night and I was grateful for it. I had to let Nick's friend Eddie know I was not interested in him a few times, but other than that, it was not a bad night. I had even more hope for Francie.

 _Chapter 3: Nine Practices to Differentiate Reading Instruction._

It's no use. I know I read that same line ten times. I closed the book, sat back, relaxed, and just enjoyed the stillness, as I melted away.

My thoughts went back to yesterday to what Lonnie said about children. I don't know why it affected me so much. It wasn't directed at me, but it still hurt. He didn't know anything about my situation and he was entitled to feel any way he wanted, but then, I began to wonder how many men felt the same way. What if a lot of men felt that way ...most men? That scared me a bit.

Maybe his words heightened my fear of being alone and Cay being without a father. It's been ten years since the attack and in those ten years I have went on exactly three first dates and zero second dates. Was it them or me?

Lonnie was the first man in many years that didn't scare me. If I was honest with myself, I would have to admit that he excited me a bit. I had forgotten what that felt like.

* * *

I noticed the red corvette slowly coming up the road. Maybe I'm a little judgmental, but when I see those kinds of cars I automatically think young, rich, show off or old mid-life crisis. I was half shocked when it stopped in front of the house and Lonnie got out. I could tell he was young, but I doubted that a small town cop was rich.

I decided not to hate him for wanting his own children, that was at least admirable ...for his choice of car, maybe.

"Really? A red corvette? I did not peg you as a corvette man."

He smiled as he made his way to sit down on the stoop.

"I'd sure like to know what ya pegged me as."

He took off his sunglasses. Man, he was cute. I decided he was forgiven for doing nothing wrong at all.

"Well, a big, tall, Southern cowboy like yourself would surely be a pick up man, or a 'souped up Chevelle' kind of guy."

He chuckled a bit. "When I saw it, I wanted it, and I got it."

I decided to be playful. "Do you always get what you want?"

He looked hard at me."Yes, ma'am."

 _Damn._

I believed him.

"So, what is it you want this morning?"

"Well, I want to apologize for whatever it is I said yesterday, that made ya upset. I know I said somethin'—"

I got up from the chair and sat down next to him on the stoop.

"No Lonnie, you don't have to apologize for anything at all. I realized when I got home what a jerk I was. Me ...I was the jerk, and I'm sorry. You said absolutely nothing wrong. I promise."

His face told me he accepted my apology and I was relieved.

"Okay. Hey, listen, I uh, have a few hours before my shift starts. Do ya need anythin'? ...a ride somewhere?"

I thought for a quick second and decided to take a chance.

"As a matter of fact, yes. I'd like a slice of the best pizza in three counties."

* * *

After a brief chat with Francie, I was out the door and on my way to lunch with Lonnie. We chatted very comfortably with each other answering questions and just getting to know each other. I answered his questions honestly, but did not offer anything. I was leaving next week so there was no real reason to inform him of every detail of my life.

I was thoroughly relaxed with him and enjoyed the time spent riding. Sadly, the pizza place wasn't that far and the ride was over quickly. We went in, found a cozy booth, placed our order, and continued where we left off in the car.

"So, how long you been a cop?"

"Almost six years."

"Really? How old are you? You look pretty young to have been a cop for six years."

"Well, I went to the academy pretty much right outta high school. I had some help gettin' in. I wasn't the best student. The chief knew my parents and worked with me to get me ready."

I gave him an inquisitive look because he dodged my question.

He chuckled a bit. "Okay, 25. You?"

 _My my, he is a young one._

"You know, I bet that's the best part of living in a small town, isn't it?" I asked, sarcastically. "Everybody knows everybody ...and everybody's business."

Now it was his turn to be playful.

"Well, I reckon it does have its good points, but it can be a pain, too. Like our lunch right here. By the time I get to work there will be five guys wantin' to know all about the strange girl I was with and how old she is."

We both chuckled. "A few years older," was all I gave him.

"Well, all right." His face told me that he was perfectly okay with that.

The pizza came and we talked and ate and talked some more. I was really enjoying myself when he checked his watch and I realized that he had to be to work soon.

"I'm ready when you are," I offered.

He just sat there looking at me.

"I know you're here to help Francie out, but ya think ya might be able to take a day off? I thought maybe we'd take a trip to Jackson, look around. Might be fun."

 _What?_

That was unexpected.

"Yea ...I think she can manage without me for awhile."

He slowly nodded in agreement, still not taking his eyes off mine. "Okay, then. Wednesday sound good?"

"Wednesday sounds great."

* * *

The conversation on the ride home turned to the city of Jackson. He told me about some of the things that he planned to show me and I was really getting excited about the trip.

When we turned onto Tyler road, we saw Nick's car out front of Francie's. Damn. I was hoping to spend some time alone with her to talk some more about the plans that she and Mrs. Barrett had made, but I guess that will have to wait until tomorrow.

"Your friends are back."

There was an edge to his voice and I assured him that no, they were not my friends.

He asked me about last night and I told him that it was pretty calm but I had to fend Eddie off with a whip a few times. He didn't find my joke that funny.

As we walked to the house he asked me about the sleeping arrangements and I smiled to myself. I appreciated his concern but I wanted to assure him that I was capable of taking care of myself.

"Well dad, they left before I went to bed. Don't worry about me. I promise, I can take care of myself."

I got a little bold and reached over and took his sunglasses off and tucked them in his collar. Hazel ...his eyes were hazel.

"I'm really glad you came over today," I said, suddenly feeling like a shy teenager.

"Me too. I hope ya enjoyed lunch."

"Lunch was just about perfect. The pizza was okay, too."

Maybe he finally realized I was being flirty, because he blushed.

I almost didn't recognize the fluttering in my stomach. It had been many years since I felt it.

"Well, officer Jamison, you be safe tonight so you can come back to see me, okay?"

"Yes ma'am. Ya can count on it."

He gave me a sweet smile and a nod and headed for his car. I watched him drive away and I opened the front door and went in with a whole new outlook on Sparta, Mississippi.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sunday, August 2nd**

When I opened my eyes I was in a daze. My vision was blurry, my head was splitting, and every muscle I had was on fire.

I knew I was in a hospital but couldn't remember how I got here. The room was quiet except for a soft snore coming from the bed behind me. The clock on the wall said 4:45, but I was unsure if it was am or pm. I was unsure of a lot of things.

I raised my hand to the side of my head and felt the gash and it all came back to me. Francie, why? The tears began to well up thinking about what happened. What am I going to do? I was a million miles away from everyone I knew and loved and I was terrified. I had never felt more alone in all my life. The tears quietly took over.

Nausea was setting in and I needed to get to the bathroom. As I sat up, the room began to spin violently. I closed my eyes and immediately laid back down. After a few minutes, I opened my eyes and sat up again more slowly. Better. As I slid off the bed, I lost my footing a bit and grabbed onto it for support. With the whole room now in view, I realized, to my surprise, mine was the only bed in here. Over in the corner, sound asleep in a chair, was Lonnie.

 _My hero?_

The tears came on again harder, louder, and uncontrollably. My sobbing woke him and he came over to me, grabbing hold of my arms to steady me.

"It's okay, Cath...c'mere. You're safe. You're all right."

I pulled him closer to me just to feel the comfort of friendly arms. I felt the warmth of his hands on my bare back and I began to tremble.

"Lonnie, I need to go home. I need to go home now, to my home. Please help me."

He kept his voice low and soothing. "I know. I reckon we can figure a way to get ya home sooner. I'm real sorry that ya got mixed up in all this."

It took a few minutes for the trembling to ease enough for me to be able to walk. He helped me to the bathroom door, opened it and told me if I needed him, he'd be right outside. I just nodded an okay, and went in.

As I headed to the sink to wash up afterwards, I caught my reflection in the mirror. The outward signs of the attack were only a split lip and a small gash on the side of my head. The dried blood in my hair made it look worse than it actually was, but these were just the things I could see. What about the things I couldn't see? _Did he ...?_ I didn't want to even think about it. I cried quietly so Lonnie couldn't hear me, but the sobbing came on again, uncontrollably. I got sick.

I heard the door knob move. "Cath, ya okay? Do ya need the doctor?"

"Lonnie, do not come in here!"

I cleaned myself up as best as I could, made sure the back of my gown was tied tight, and opened the door. I looked at him not knowing what to do or say, so I just shook my head.

"Let's get ya back in the bed and I'll go get the doctor. We'll talk more after he sees ya."

My legs were a bit steadier, but he insisted on helping me. As he turned to head out of the room I had a sudden panicking thought.

"My things! Oh, God! Lonnie! I need my things ...my clothes, my plane ticket!"

"Everythin's here." He quickly walked around the bed and pointed to the bags on the floor next to the chair. "Francie threw 'em on the porch after they took ya in the ambulance. I brought 'em here. I hope this is all of it."

"Did she say anything?"

"No."

I could tell by his face, he lied.

My feelings were so hurt. Never in a million years would I have expected her to act like that. The tears came on again.

"Thank you ...for everything," I said.

"Don't mention it."

* * *

My bags, thankfully, looked like they were untouched. All of my important papers were there, the main thing being my plane ticket home.

"Do you know if the airport is open on Sunday?" I asked. He never got the chance to answer, because the door opened and the doctor came in.

"Mornin', Doc," Lonnie said.

"Good mornin', Sergeant Jamison."

He had a folder in his hands and was looking through it as he spoke to me.

"Ms. Morgan?"

"Yes."

"Good mornin'. It seems you had yourself a pretty eventful night, last night."

What an odd statement, I thought. "If you say so. I only remember bits and pieces."

"Well, your injuries are minor, thankfully. The gentleman fared a bit worse."

"Gentleman? What gentleman? What are you talking about?"

He looked at me concerned. "You don't remember what happened?"

I played dumb, but I remembered all of it up until I blacked out. I started feeling nauseous again.

"Well," he said, "there was a young man that came in at the same time you did, from the same incident. Rumor has it, he assaulted you and you defended yourself in a most impressive way, if you don't mind me saying so."

If he was trying to cheer me up, it wasn't working. I just sat there.

He looked at Lonnie and back at me and then started describing my injuries. "Well, there's a small laceration on your head. I didn't feel like it needed any stitches, though. It'll be sore for a few days but should heal nicely. There are a few minor scratches on your arms," He pulled each arm out and examined them briefly pointing out the few scratches I had. "and your lip should heal just fine. Now then, do you have any questions for me?"

I glanced at Lonnie and then lowered my head and kept it down as I asked, too terrified of the answer.

"I don't know what happened after I blacked out ...did he ...?" I couldn't say it.

Lonnie shifted where he stood. I'm pretty sure he knew what I was asking, but it took the doctor a second before it dawned on him.

"Oh, no, no. No signs of anything sexual, no."

I took a deep breath and released slowly, thanking God.

He looked back into the chart. "Now, Ms. Morgan, I would like to ask you a few additional questions if I may, concerning your other injuries."

 _Oh great._

I ignored Lonnie's eyes.

"Just know that you are under no obligation to tell me anything, but I am a curious old soul."

"Okay."

"Would you like Sergeant Jamison to leave?"

I looked over at him and thought about it for a brief second. I'd be out of this town by tomorrow, Tuesday tops. I didn't care what he or anybody in this town knew.

"No, he can stay."

"Well, I'm curious about what happened to your lower abdomen. It looks like it was a pretty traumatic injury."

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Lonnie look at the Dr. and then at me. He was curious now, too. I pulled the blankets tighter around my waist before I put on a brave face and told my story.

"About ten years ago, I got pregnant. When my boyfriend found out, he left. When I was about eight months along, he decided that he didn't want it to happen at all, with or without him. He stabbed me several times." I wiped away the tears that began to fall.

I could tell Lonnie was becoming uncomfortable, but I continued.

"They had to do an emergency C-section. Thankfully, the blade never touched her. She is beautiful and healthy and right now having fun on vacation with my family." I cried harder at the thought of what might have happened to me, being so far from her.

With that, the Dr. put his hand on my arm to console me. "It's a miracle if I ever heard one."

I wiped away my tears and smiled at that. "Yes, she is."

And then he asked the only other question that I dreaded to answer. "Was there any permanent damage?"

I took a deep breath. "Yes. He damaged my ovaries and something else ...I forget the name. They had to give me a hysterectomy." I looked at Lonnie. "I can't have any more children."

Still no reaction. I don't even know what I was expecting, but I guess I expected something. He just stood at the foot of the bed, frozen.

The doctor said how sorry he was and reminded me how blessed I was to have the child that I did. I knew how lucky I was, no one needed to tell me. He wrote a few things in his chart and told me that once he got the paperwork in order, I would be able to leave and that it should be within the hour. I Thanked him and he left.

My eyes met Lonnie's.

"Lonnie, I can't even begin to thank you ...for everything, really, but you don't have to stay. I'll be fine. I'm going to exchange my ticket and hopefully I'll be able to go home tomorrow."

He just stood there. His jaw was tight and he was just staring at me, or through me, I couldn't tell.

"Really, it's okay. I'll be—"

"What happened to him?" His voice was deep and demanding. I knew what he was asking.

"He got ten years, and before you ask, I don't know where he is or even if he's out yet."

He suddenly looked so sad. "Cath, I'm so sorry I said—"

"No." I put my hand up to stop him. "You had no way of knowing anything about me Lonnie, and your words the other day were just that ...your words. You're allowed to want your own children. Don't apologize for that, and don't you pity me ...ever."

* * *

I never expected to have to go to a police station to explain how I defended myself. I think it's absurd that I have to do it at all, but Lonnie said that due to the severity of Eddie's injuries the chief wanted to talk to me and ask me some questions. He also wanted to know if I planned to press charges against them.

Could I press charges against Francie? She'd never get the baby back if I did. I felt like I was stuck in some crazy dream. I reached up to feel the cut on the side of my head to remind myself that It was no dream.

I don't know if I was ready to tell the story, but I was in the back of Lonnie's squad car on my way to see the chief to do just that.

The station was tiny compared to the one back home. It was quiet, too. There was only one other officer in there that I could see. It was just after 9am on a Sunday, so maybe that's why. Most of the town was probably at church. Lonnie escorted me through the main area to a small office. He took me over to a sofa, helped me sit down, and sat down beside me.

"The chief will be in shortly. Can I get ya some coffee or a cold drink?"

I shook my head.

"Are ya hungry? We have a—"

"No, Lonnie! I just want this over so I can go home!"

He stood up. "I'll go see what's taking the chief so long."

I suddenly felt bad for yelling at him. Just having him by my side has made this whole thing more bearable. He went back into the main area and the murmuring between him and the other officer began. Two sets of eyes kept glancing at me through the wall of windows. I felt like an animal on display.

Suddenly, the door to my left opened and an older white haired man walked into the room. "Now, what have we here?" He asked.

Lonnie and the other officer entered the room as well. "Chief, this is Cathy Morgan. She was a part of that incident last night on Tyler Road."

"Yes, yes. Ms. Morgan, I'm Chief Gillespie, how do?" He nodded to me.

"Am I under arrest?"

"No ma'am, you are not. I did mean to ask ya, though, if you plan on pressin' charges against the others involved, and if that's the case, we'll get right on it, but first, I would like to know what happened at that house last night."

"I was attacked and I defended myself, nothing else. And yes, I want to press charges ...on all of them."

"Yes ma'am."

He looked at the other officer. "Parker, when we finish up in here, get on that will ya? I want a warrant out for each of them as soon as possible and I want them in this building, today."

"Yes sir, Chief. Right on it."

"Now, Ms. Morgan, can you further elaborate for me on what happened?"

He wanted the details of something I wanted to forget. I started crying. As the chief pulled a wooden chair closer, Lonnie sat back down beside me. I was so grateful for his closeness.

The chief started again. "Now, child, I don't mean to upset ya, but I do need to know what happened. I know you are a visitor here, but this is how we do things in my county, ya see? I need to know the details before I can proceed. Do ya understand?"

I nodded. I took a few seconds to collect my thoughts and then started. "There wasn't supposed to be any alcohol in the house while I was visiting, she promised."

"Who's she?" He asked.

"My cousin, Francie. I'm staying with her ...I was staying with her for a week or so to help her get the place together to try to get her baby back. She had some problems and children's services took him."

He looked at Lonnie. "Is this Francie the same drunk woman that was in here a few weeks ago? The one you know?"

"Yes sir. I knew her ...a long time ago."

The tears spilled out again. I was heartsick over the whole thing.

"I am very sorry Ms. Morgan, but I need ya to tell me exactly what happened last night."

I took a deep breath.

"It started off fine. We were just sitting around the house talking. I started dinner around seven o'clock and her boyfriend Nick and his friend Eddie said they'd be back in a little bit. They came back about an hour later with whiskey. Francie only half tried to make them to get rid of it. They all just started drinking and partying like I wasn't even there. She kept calling me goody two-shoes and saying how 'one little drink won't hurt.' I was done with helping her. Eddie started getting a little too friendly for my taste, so I locked myself in the bedroom to get away from him. I figured they'd all get drunk, pass out and sleep it off."

I closed my eyes reliving the nightmare in my head.

"After a while it got pretty quiet. I thought that maybe they already passed out. Then Eddie started banging on the bedroom door and calling my name. He just wouldn't stop! He got so loud ...the noise was making me crazy. I opened the door just to get him to be quiet and he grabbed me. Francie and Nick were having sex on the couch, and I guess Eddie wanted some, too. He started grabbing at my clothes and my hair and trying to pull me close to kiss me."

I couldn't help the sobbing, but I continued as best as I could.

"He kept grabbing at me and trying to get me back into the bedroom, and then, I don't know ...I lost it ...like, I lost control. I just kept swinging and kicking, but I had to stop him. I would have hurt him a lot more, but Nick grabbed me. I started to go after him and that's when I caught a glimpse of the bottle coming across the room." I closed my eyes and reached up to the gash on my head. "I don't remember anything after that."

The room was quiet, like they were waiting for more.

I looked at Lonnie. His knuckles were white.

"Lonnie, I don't know what he was going to do to me. I just know that I had to stop him ...and I did!" He stood up quickly. I could almost see his mind working.

As sick as it made me feel to admit this to myself, I had to say it out loud. "Francie was the only one that could have thrown that bottle." His jaw tightened and he headed for the door. The chief stopped him in his tracks.

"Now hold on there Jamison! We are not done here yet! We don't even know what charges are going to be brought, and against whom. Let me finish my talk here and we can figure this thing all out." Lonnie was fuming but stayed where he was.

He turned to stare out the office windows as the chief turned his attention back to me.

"Well now, that's quite a story there. I'm very sorry ya had to go through that. Truly, I am." He sounded sincere. "Now, my next question is, how is it that you alone were able to do so much damage to that man?"

Lonnie turned back to hear my answer. I took a fast glance at him and then back at the chief. "Well, to make a long story short, I was attacked some years ago ...much worse than this. And over these last years I have learned to defend myself and protect myself by myself." I sat up a little straighter. "I'd say it paid off."

The chief sat back in his chair. "Well now, how 'bout that. I dare say it did, child. I dare say it did."

* * *

The three of them had been out in the main lobby area for about 20 minutes discussing me, I guessed. Why? I don't know. I did nothing wrong. The glances and the murmuring were really starting to get to me. It was after 11am and I was hungry and tired, and I wanted to see about getting my plane ticket exchanged so I could go home.

Lonnie and the chief finally came back in, and I could tell by Lonnie's face that he was tired too, and that he had news I wouldn't like.

The chief took over. "Now, Ms. Morgan, I understand your dilemma, I do, but we have a situation here that begs a few more days of investigation."

I stood up to yell, kick, and scream, but only ended up dizzy and back on my ass. Lonnie sat down beside me.

"Just a few extra days, Cath, and we'll get your ticket changed and get ya home as soon as we're done."

"What on earth do you need to investigate? I defended myself! This is crazy! I did nothing wrong!"

I managed to stand up this time and look quite thoroughly pissed, and asked the chief again, more directly, "sir, am I under arrest?"

He looked a bit surprised at my question. "Oh, no ma'am, you are free to go ...but ya can't leave town. I have to speak to the others involved to make sure I have the whole story before I arrest anyone or ...let anyone leave Sparta. I do hope ya understand."

I had no idea what to do or say. I felt utterly hopeless.

He looked at Lonnie, used some big hand gesture, and told him to, "Discuss what we uh, discussed." And with that, he walked out of the room and pulled the door closed behind him.

Lonnie looked so tired and I felt so bad that he was involved in this, but I was in no mood to talk about anything.

"What do we need to discuss?" I asked him, a little meaner than I should have.

He looked a little hurt and then uncomfortable and even a little hesitant, but he stood up and started ..."Well, I know that ya can't go back to Francie's—"

My hands shot up. "Stop right there. You owe me nothing Lonnie and I feel bad that you have to deal with this at all. I can—"

He put his finger to my lips to shut me up. "Woman, will ya let me finish?" He very calmly asked.

I put my hands down pressed my lips together and listened. He removed his finger and continued. "You have choices where others might not. And ya only have them because rather ya like it or not, I am involved in this ...personally, and have been long before you ever got here." He started looking uncomfortable again. "Now, I can put ya up in a hotel until this is over or ...ya can stay at my place."

 _What?_

"Lonnie, I can't ask you to—"

His frustration started showing.

"Cath, ya didn't ask me to do anythin'! I live alone in my parents' house. It's a big house. There's more than enough room and it'll only be for a few days. But, I'll pay for a hotel room if you'd feel more comfortable there. It's up to you. I'm just offerin' choices."

He looked so tired. I didn't think a small town cop had extra money lying around so I couldn't expect him to pay for a hotel and I sure didn't have the money myself, so I really only had one choice.

"If you're sure it's no bother, I'll stay with you."

He looked somewhat relieved that this conversation was over.

"No bother at all. Let's go. I have to get some sleep before my next shift in four hours."

* * *

The ride to his house was brief, just ten minutes from the heart of downtown Sparta, but far enough away that it felt like it was in the middle of nowhere.

As we pulled up to the side of the house, he turned off the engine and looked at me. "Cath, I've gotta get some sleep. There's food in the fridge and clean towels in the bathroom. Help yourself to anythin' that ya need. For the next few days, this is your home, okay?"

I couldn't stop the tears from filling my eyes and I looked away, but not before he saw them.

"Aw, now don't ya start doin' that again. Let's go."

He got out of the car and headed to the trunk to get my duffle bag. I dried my eyes as I grabbed my backpack and purse from behind the seat.

As we walked the few feet to the side porch steps he told me that he was born and raised in this house and up until five years ago still shared it with his mom.

"My daddy died in Vietnam when I was 12. It was just me and momma. As I got older, I couldn't let her live in this big house alone. We have no other close kin here, so it was just us. Now, it's just me."

That just about broke my heart.

When we reached the front door, he opened the screen door, reached to put the key in and looked back to me. "Okay now, don't judge me too hard. I've lived alone for quite a while and I'm a guy. So, just be happy there are clean towels." We were both smiling as we went inside.

It was exactly as I pictured it would be. We entered right into a huge open living room with a giant oval braided rug. There was a door immediately to our right and outside that door, along the wall, was an upright piano covered with family pictures and about three inches of dust. The floral wallpaper was almost an assault on the eyes, but I bet at one time it was a nice place to raise a family.

He went into the sitting area to our left and sat my things next to the couch. He turned on the window ac unit and apologized for the fifty cent tour, but said that he had to get some sleep. He walked over to the beginning of a long hallway that ran between the living room and kitchen and pointed out the bathroom door on the right and just past that, the two bedrooms on either side at the end of the hallway. I was welcomed to use either of them or the couch. Again, more choices.

He headed into the kitchen which was right off the main hall on the opposite side of the living room, opened the fridge, got some lunch meats and made himself a quick sandwich, poured himself a glass of tea and headed for the door just to the right of our entrance. As he opened the door he looked back at me standing in the middle of the open area between the two rooms. I guess I looked lost.

"Go, eat somethin'. If there's somethin' in the cabinets you wanna fix, fix it. I'll see ya in a few hours, I gotta sleep." He closed the door behind him.

 _Damn lucky Superman with his x-ray vision._

I was too tired to eat, so I poured myself a glass of tea and curled up on the couch. The hum from the ac was exactly what I needed to drown out my thoughts. I never even got a sip of my drink.

* * *

The telephone cut a slice from my head. I swear it felt like it split in two with every ring. By the third ring I wanted to kill Lonnie for not answering it.

"Lonnie, please answer the phone!"

Sitting up I noticed several things; I was covered in a blanket, Lonnie's bedroom door was open, outside the backdoor window was dark, and the phone was still ringing.

 _How long did I sleep?_

I quickly made my way into the kitchen to the wall phone.

"Hello?"

"Well, good evenin' sleepy head."

"Lonnie?"

"Who else?"

I yawned. "I guess I can't kill you for not answering the phone if you're not here."

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing. What time is it?"

"Didn't ya get the note I left by your tea?"

"Oh yea, the note, sure. I read it, memorized it and corrected your spelling. Lonnie, I literally just woke up when you called."

"Okay, smarty pants. It's eight o'clock. I wanted to call and check on ya and see if ya needed anythin'. I'm only a few minutes away. You eat?"

"Well, when I looked in your fridge earlier I thought you might have been robbed. It's just about empty."

He laughed at that. "Well, I'm sure I don't need a fridge full of food for just me. We can go shoppin' tomorrow. Would ya like some good take out catfish? I can have it there in twenty minutes."

"That sounds real good, but I won't waste away. I'll find something here."

"Okay, but you're missin' out."

"No need to trouble yourself. I'm good."

"Would be no trouble at all."

Such a deep dreamy voice. I never knew how much I would love a low, long, southern drawl, but I could listen to him read the ingredients on a can of soup, and melt.

"Hey, I put two phone numbers in that note. One is to the station, if I'm not here call the other number, it's the mobile phone. If ya need anythin' at all, ya call. Hear?"

"Yes sir, officer."

"How ya feeling?" He asked, with sounds of genuine concern.

"I'm still in shock. I don't know what to think, about Francie or anything."

"The guys picked Francie up a few hours ago. She's here in a cell. The chief took Nick's statement and let him go for now. He says he was trying to pull ya off Eddie, not attack ya. I'll fill ya in tomorrow."

"Will I have to come down there again?"

"I reckon so."

I was trying to be quiet, but he heard me.

"Now come on ..." He was speaking low like someone was close and listening. "...enough crying. It'll work out, and we'll get ya home quick, you'll see. I'll be home by seven."

 _Home. Cay._

He must have read my mind because at that minute he told me that I could use the phone to "call your daughter," and that I could talk as long as I needed. I thought that was the sweetest thing.

"Listen, I have to go out on patrol. Try and get some rest."

"Well, officer Jamison, you be safe tonight so you can come back to see me, okay?"

"Yes ma'am. Ya can count on it."

I hung up smiling.

* * *

I was wide awake now, and no rest was in sight. I felt it was too late to call Cay, so the only thing to do was to get to know my surroundings and clean them. Lord knows it needed it. It would give me something to do and I figured it was an easy way to earn my keep.

I turned on the lamp in the living room just to see how he lived. The room itself was huge compared to the rooms back home, and I'd be willing to bet that everything in it was exactly the way his mom left it.

There were a few family pictures scattered over the top of the piano, and on the wall behind it. Hanging on another wall was a picture of Lonnie's dad in an army uniform. He looked a lot like his dad.

There were other pictures scattered here and there on the walls along with Lonnie's high school diploma and his certificate from the police academy.

 _Lonnie Daniel Jamison_. I liked that.

The thing that surprised me most was the number of books spread out over the room. There were books in shelves, in piles on the floor, and on the coffee table. I wondered if his mother had been the reader so I picked up a few from the coffee table to look for dates. Space published in 1983, hmm; The Hunt for Red October published in 1984. These books were Lonnie's. Color me surprised and a little intrigued.

I made my way into the kitchen and checked under the sink to see what type of cleaning supplies he had. I don't know what I was hoping to find under the sink of a young bachelor, but he did not disappoint. The only thing under there was a plunger, a few old rags and a half bottle of Spic-n-Span that probably hasn't been opened since his mother was alive. I would make do.

Before I got started I had to make a trip to the bathroom. I was almost afraid to go in there, but when nature calls, you answer.

It wasn't too horrible. It was the typical male bathroom, complete with a trash can filled with old razors and shaving cream cans, and a pile of dirty clothes on the floor behind the door. Surprising again, was the small pile of books sitting on a tiny stand next to the toilet.

I picked up the book at the top of the pile. I giggled a bit thinking of this cute young cop sitting on the toilet reading, In the Spirit of Crazy Horse.

I looked under the sink and was relieved to find a few cans of Ajax. My faith in humanity was restored.

I smiled to myself and wondered if he cleaned or had someone do it for him. I peeked into the bathtub and sighed. Maybe neither. This is where I will start.

The kitchen clock read 2:15. My stomach was rumbling and I was getting a little tired. The house looked and smelled much better so I decided to call it a night.

I refreshed my drink and got a few pieces of the ham lunch meat and curled up on the couch. I was just getting cozy when I happened to look at the back door window, which was in perfect line of sight from the couch. I took a towel from the bathroom and rigged it up to cover the window.

Someone has got to talk to that boy about curtains.

I sat back down on the couch and pulled the blanket up over my legs. It just dawned on me that Lonnie was the one that covered me up earlier.

It got me thinking ...he is cute, sweet, generous, and he's a cop. Why he is still single? Are there no intelligent women in Sparta? What was his deal?

As I laid my head down to get comfortable, I noticed a piece of paper sticking out from under a book on the coffee table. I had forgotten all about the note he left.

I guess you could say it was a standard note. It said that he would call me around eight o'clock but to answer the phone no matter what the time was. It had the phone numbers that he said it would and the details for them. The last line though, was not in your standard informational note.

It simply read,

 _Looking forward to getting to know you better, Lon._

Suddenly, I was happy that the women in Sparta were dumb.

I fell asleep smiling, with every light in the house on.


	4. Chapter 4

**Monday,** **August 3rd**

It seemed as if Lonnie was going to sleep the day away. It was just before 3pm and I heard not a peep from him.

I was just starting the 5th chapter in my textbook when I heard the rumble of thunder. I made my way out back to take a look at the sky.

The clouds were dark and closing in, but the rain hadn't started yet. There was just a hint of a cool breeze that preceded the storm and it brought smells unlike anything I had ever experienced ...both salty and earthy sweet.

Other than the big barn on the right side of the property, the yard was a huge open area, beautifully green and maintained. Beyond it, fields seemed to go on forever.

The front porch went the whole length of the house and was completely bare, but the back porch was different. The left side ended where the bedroom jutted out. Against the wall was the washing machine that I looked for last night. I had never known anyone to keep their machine outside, but I guess down here it's possible. The convenience of it made sense to me because the clotheslines were just off that edge of the porch.

Also on the left side, was a wooden chair. It was sitting right in the middle of the porch almost directly left of the backdoor. There was no rhyme or reason to it, it was just there.

The right side of the porch had purpose. It was a quaint seating area that was just about the most charming place I'd ever seen. It was obviously his mother's spot and I thought it was quite touching that he didn't clear it out after she passed. It was very simple, really; a wicker love-seat at the end of the porch and another under the window. They were covered with floral pillows and surrounded by empty hanging baskets. A small table in the center held a serving tray and a few small ceramic birds. It was old and unkempt, but I could imagine how beautiful it once was.

I curled up on the love seat at the end of the porch and let my mind get lost in my surroundings. The land and the sky had me in a trance. It was stunningly beautiful.

I thought I heard the screen door open but I was so lost in thought, that I didn't think to acknowledge it.

The rain came hard and the sound of it hitting the tin porch roof took me back to memories of my own mother. She always said it was her favorite sound as a child.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw movement. I looked over to see Lonnie sitting on the wooden chair. He was just sitting there, watching me.

"Afternoon," I said. "You hungry? I can make you something."

"Naw, I'm good."

His face looked different to me, like he was in deep thought. I was unsure how long he had been sitting there, but it was almost like he was looking at me for the first time.

Realizing the mistake I made, I stood up.

This spot was special. That's what that chair was for. He would sit there, and remember his mother sitting here. He was still hurting from her loss. I felt horrible.

"Lonnie, I'm so sorry. I didn't know—"

"It's all right, sit."

I started to take a step toward the door and he stood up and waved me back.

"It's okay ...sit with me." He came over to the other love seat and sat down.

I carefully sat back down, sure to keep my feet on the ground.

We sat for a few minutes and watched the rain in silence. There was no more thunder, just a sweet summer shower. It should have been enjoyable, but I felt like I robbed him of something so important, and I didn't know how to fix it.

This silence was awkward.

I wanted to cheer him up a bit, so I did the only thing I could think of to take his mind off it; flirt.

I looked him up and down. "You know, if you keep walking around here dressed like that, I could lose control."

He looked down at his outfit, baffled, and pulled at his Sparta High tank top. "This?"

I shook my head.

"What then?"

I tried to hide my smile, but I couldn't. "Bare feet at the bottom of a long pair of Levi's really ...really turn me on."

He chuckled a bit. "Is that right?"

"I'm giving you fair warning. I cannot be held responsible for my actions if you continue to walk around here barefoot."

He lifted his feet up and put them on the table. "I'm willing to take my chances."

The mischievous smile on his face was definitely an invitation.

"You are a bad boy officer Jamison."

"So I've been told."

 _I bet he has._

"What on earth possessed ya to clean my house?"

Uh oh. I couldn't tell if he was upset with me or not.

"You're not mad are you? I put everything back exactly where I found it ...even your solitaire game on the kitchen table, exactly back where it was. I didn't even play the next move. And I never stepped one foot in your room ...It was just something to do. Are you mad?"

"No, but ya didn't have to."

I laughed a bit to myself. "Yes, I did."

His sexy little smirks are going to be hard to forget.

* * *

The rain stopped. The sun came out and the other worlds woke up; birds started singing and chirping, things were buzzing again. It was all very enchanting to this city girl.

"Listen, I'm havin' some friends ova tomorrow night to throw somethin' on the grill. Ya up for it?"

"You ask me like I have a say. It's your house."

"Well, if ya ain't up to it, I'll cancel. I don't do it that often ...just thought you'd like some female company."

 _How thoughtful._

"Okay, sure, sounds fun."

He smiled. "Good."

"So ...what went on with Francie? You said you'd fill me in."

The smile vanished.

"Chief wants to see ya tomorrow mornin'."

"Thank God. I want this over so I can go home. Will I have to see any of them?"

"I reckon ya might."

 _Oh, great._

"I'm real sorry about what happened to ya Cath ...and kinda sorry that you're in such a hurry to go home, but I understand."

"It kinda is what it is."

"I know, but I was lookin' forward to Wednesday."

I had forgotten all about our trip to Jackson.

"I was looking forward to it, too. Didn't matter where we were going as much as hanging out with you ...but," I opened my arms wide to let him know that I was very aware that I am still getting that part of it, "here I am."

I smiled hoping he would know that I was not totally unhappy with the situation, being what it was.

No smile in return.

He looked suddenly very serious, like he had something to say, but couldn't or didn't want to.

I was getting a little nervous.

"Whatever it is, say it. I'm a big girl."

"The chief's gonna ask some more questions about that night."

"I figured he would. But, it all comes down to what I already said. I did what I had to do."

"He's gonna wanna know more about your doin's with Eddie that lead up to what happened."

"What do you mean, my doings?"

He put his feet down and sat up, less relaxed, more business.

"He's gonna wanna know ...if ya lead Eddie on."

"What!?"

"Did ya? It's a fair question."

"Who wants to know, the chief or you?"

"Just answer the question, Cath."

Part of me was boiling at what he was implying and the other part of me was thinking that maybe he was just a little bit curious himself. I tried to stay calm and choose my words carefully, but I was on fire.

"No, I did not in any way lead him on. The second they started getting drunk, I went into the bedroom ...alone, and locked the door, just like I said. Satisfied?"

I got up. He didn't say a word to me as I walked toward the door, but as I grabbed the screen door handle, I had an epiphany.

"You spoke to her, didn't you?"

He looked at me with understanding on his face.

"Francie told you that I lead him on ...didn't she?"

With that, he looked away.

"C'mon Lonnie, it's a fair question, answer it!"

He stood up and started to walk around me to go into the house, stopped and back stepped right to my face. "Yea, she did ...and a few other things, too. Now, I don't know you and it's none of my business if ya did, but she was very convincing."

The slap was fast, to the point, and I felt, deserved.

"You should have started with this shit before we played our little flirty games and saved me the trouble of feeling sick to my stomach. You're an ass, Lonnie."

I left him standing on the porch and went inside. I went straight into the bathroom to get the few things that I left from my shower, threw them in my duffle bag, slipped my shoes on, and left.

I had just made it to the end of the long driveway and on to the paved road when I heard him calling me. I kept walking but glanced over to see him sprinting across the front yard. He was beside me in seconds and he was livid.

"Now you're actin' foolish. Where ya gonna go?"

I ignored him and kept walking. He followed me for about a quarter mile trying to talk me into coming back, and I kept on ignoring him.

"Cath, c'mon. Don't be stupid!" He grabbed my arm to stop me.

"Let. Me. Go."

"What are ya gonna do, kick my ass, too?" He spat out.

I pulled my arm from him and started on again.

"Folks 'round here don't take kindly to strangers. I've seen things that'd give ya nightmares ... All right, come back and I'll take ya in town to the motel and pay for the night."

"I don't want your money and I don't need your help."

I heard a car coming up the road so I put a few feet between us and stuck my thumb out.

"Cath, no! I'm serious! Please, don't do this."

The paved road was too hot for his bare feet so all he could do was stand in the grass on the side of the road and beg me to stop.

He was dripping with sweat and had a look of anguish on his face that made me want to run to him, hug him, and tell him that everything would be okay, but right now, I hated him.

The car stopped and the gentleman driving asked me if I was all right. I guess it looked like I was in some type of trouble standing in the middle of the road with a busted lip and this crazy man chasing me.

Before I could answer, Lonnie was up to the passenger window pointing his finger at the man's head, with a look more fiercer than I'd ever seen.

"Sir, I'm a cop and this woman here, is a fugitive. If you take her in your car, I swear that I'll have the whole Sparta police department on you in less than ten minutes. Drive away sir, now!"

He took off.

I dropped my bags in the middle of the road, defeated.

Lonnie's finger now pointed at me. "What's your daughter's name?"

"What?"

He lowered his hand. "I want to know the name of the child I have to call when I tell her that her fool of a mother got herself killed hitchhiking."

He wins.

I picked up my bags and started walking up the middle of the road back to his house. I was beginning to feel sick and the gash on my head was aching from the heat. I just wanted to lie down.

"Did you have to tell that man that I was a fugitive?"

"Yea."

I couldn't help but smirk a little.

"Bring me the bags, I'll carry 'em."

"No, thank you."

"Quit bein' so darned stubborn. I said I was sorry ...and I never said I believed her."

"Yes, you did."

* * *

Hiding in the front bedroom seemed like a good plan to keep my distance from Lonnie, and anyone else. I informed him that I was not coming out until it was time to go to see the chief tomorrow and I had no intentions of coming back after that. He seemed disappointed, but after the incident on the back porch, he said he understood. It was a sound plan, but I could barely breathe. The fan in the window did absolutely nothing to cool the room, but like he said, I was stubborn and I stayed in there the rest of the afternoon.

There was a tap on the door. "Cath, I need to run to the store for a few things. Wanna go?"

"No."

"Well, is there anythin' ya need? I never had to buy women's things before but if ya write somethin' down I'll get it."

I opened the bedroom door. "Women things? Are you crazy? Didn't you hear what I said at the hospital? I. Had. A. Hysterectomy! That part of me doesn't work anymore!"

I had no intentions of making him feel dumb, but by the look on his face that's exactly what I did.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't ..." He turned and walked back down the hall.

Now, I felt dumb.

I heard the car pull out of the driveway and in that instant I had come to the conclusion that I was, in fact, a bitch.

I sat on the bed and tried to figure out what was making me so crazy. I thought of everything from the situation with Francie, to the crazy heat and humidity, to the simple fact that I don't know how to have an adult relationship with a man.

I'm going with the latter.

The last time I had any type of real relationship with a man, it was sexual, I was a teenager, and it ended with me almost dying. It's been over ten years since, and even now, the thought of a man touching me absolutely terrifies me. But, the same brain that for ten years has felt sheer terror at the thought of a simple touch ...after only three days, wants Lonnie Jamison.

* * *

The room was almost dark when I woke up. I didn't know if Lonnie was back yet or not. I sat up to listen for any sounds but all I could hear was the window fan. The tap on the door startled me.

"Ya have a phone call."

Cay!

I opened the door to find Lonnie already halfway back down the hallway. That right there let me know that I hurt his feelings.

I picked up the phone and heard Cay's voice. My heart lifted instantly.

She told me just about every detail of every minute she's been there and I happily listened. It sounded like she was having the vacation of a lifetime.

While we talked, I noticed Lonnie a buzz in the kitchen. He had pots of water on the stove, bowls of fresh veggies on the table, and a potato peeler in his hand working like crazy.

When we said our goodbyes and I love yous, I hung up and went back down to the bedroom. I came back with twenty dollars and put it on the small table near the phone. He noticed.

"Take your money back."

"It's only twenty bucks."

His eyes were cold.

"Take it back."

I stood my ground, but decided to be nice about it.

"Lonnie, as much as you don't want the money, I have to pay it. I can't leave here feeling like I owe you something, even though I owe you so much already. Does that make sense?"

He ignored me and focused on the task at hand.

I walked over to the kitchen sink and washed my hands. As I was drying them I looked over the bowls on the table.

"What can I do?"

"Nothin'."

I moved next to him. "I want to help."

"Ya won't be here, remember? And I been thinkin' that maybe that's a good thing. This ain't workin' out."

I deserved that, but it still stung.

"Okay."

I headed toward the hallway to go back to the bedroom.

"Oh, what time do we have to be at the station?"

"10am."

"Okay. I might try to take a run early, but I'll be packed and ready by nine. Good night."

No response.

 _He hates me._

I started to head down the hallway and decided that some apology was better than none, so I backed up the few feet into the kitchen and stood across the table watching him. He continued peeling, ignoring me for a few minutes until I guess my eyes burned holes in his hands, and finally, he stopped. He looked up at me, cold and waiting.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry for earlier ...for how I yelled. I felt so bad after you left." I lowered my head so he wouldn't see the tears welling up. "I tend to get angry at times when I'm reminded of ..." I placed my hand on my stomach.

I looked up to see his eyes still cold toward me. I said all I could.

He started back to work on the food prep for tomorrow night.

"By the way, her name is Cay."

He looked up at me with an expression of real curiosity. "What?"

"Earlier, you asked me what my daughter's name is. It's Cay."

He sat the peeler down and just looked at me.

Within ten minutes I was in bed, crying myself to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Tuesday, August 4th**

A run was looking good this morning. It was just about 6am, well before the heat of the day would start, and my head was pain free. I was nervous about my meeting with the chief and seeing Francie, and I needed to think. Running, as always, was the best way for me do it.

After my last run, I decided to dress in the coolest clothes that I had which consisted of grey cotton shorts and a grey tank top. I rarely feel comfortable dressing like this, though. Clothes have become my safety net since the attack all those years ago. They help hide my insecurities, my scars, and in my mind, offer me some sort of protection. The more I'm covered the safer I feel ...almost like a defense in itself. The time of day and the fact that this place is so secluded, made me feel a little safer. I doubted anyone would be out this early on this back country road.

When I opened the front door, to my surprise, Lonnie was sitting on the porch steps.

 _Great._

As I walked down the steps, I offered him a good morning.

"Want some company?" He asked.

At least he's talking to me.

"I'm good, but if you want to run ..."

He looked tired. I wondered how late he stayed up working in the kitchen.

"I just thought, ya know, safety in numbers."

He stood up and as he did, I noticed the quick glance he gave me. I self-consciously crossed my arms in front of me. What was I thinking?

"Do you still think I can't take care of myself?"

"I didn't say that. I just thought we'd run together is all, in case I need ya to protect me."

He's trying to be playful again. This is the Lonnie I liked.

I relaxed a bit and smiled. "Sure ...and since this is your neck of the woods, you lead, I'll follow."

"Okay."

We headed on our way. I followed him from enough distance that I wouldn't be distracted in my thoughts. It worked for awhile, but honestly, it was a very nice view, if you know what I mean. He had such a long, lean, runner's body, and hair just long enough that it flew in the wind with every stride. The 'what ifs' and the 'if onlys' started creeping into my head, and try as I might, I could not stop them. Any hope of a clear thinking mind was lost.

The girls here have got to be crazy. I'd follow him anywhere.

After about twenty minutes on the paved road he headed up a narrow dirt path into the woods. I closed the distance between us because I'm so city that I'd be dead in an hour if I got lost.

I yelled up to him, "Don't get us lost. I don't want to be late seeing the chief."

"No worries ...my neck of the woods, remember?"

We ran a nice vigorous fifteen minutes into the woods and turned to head back out. It was definitely a workout, but I noticed how much cooler it was under the trees. He runs hard and smart.

When we got about a half mile from his place we slowed to a walk, to cool down. I took the opportunity to talk business.

"I'm a little nervous about this morning."

"Ya don't have to be. The chief's a fair man."

I looked over to him. "You say that like I did something wrong, like I'm being judged. That scares me."

"No one's denyin' that ya did what ya had to do, but when outsiders come to town and things happen, we like to look at things carefully."

"We? You don't believe me, do you?"

"Now, I never said that."

"But you find it easier to believe Francie?"

He stopped me in the road. "I never said that, either."

"Yea, you kinda did."

"I said I was sorry about that. Listen Cath, I'm a cop and I take my job very seriously, and It's my job to listen to all sides, even Francie's."

I tried hard to read his face, but it showed nothing. I started walking again but he grabbed my arm to stop me.

"I am sorry," he said.

I believed him.

"Will you be in there with me when I see her?"

"That's up to the chief, why?"

"Might be safer for her if we're not left alone."

"And why is that?"

I pointed to the cut on the side of my head. "You know why, just don't leave me in the room alone with her, okay?"

"Okay."

I covered my face with my hands to hide my frustration. He gently pulled them away.

"Somethin' else is on your mind."

"The baby. If I press charges against her, she'll never get him back. Who knows where he'll end up? I don't know what to do."

"Two days ago ya told me she was a good mother. Do ya still think she's fit to care for a baby?"

"I don't know."

"Well," he said, "ya have two choices. Ya can think about Francie or ya can think about the baby, and that's about all I can say about that."

He gave me a look that practically willed me to understand the meaning behind what he said. I did understand. He took a stand in the best interest of the baby and now it's my turn.

I nodded.

This conversation was getting heavy, it was time to lighten the mood.

"First one to the porch gets to shower first," I said.

I took off. I had the lead for about twelve seconds when his long legs blew by me.

* * *

While he was showering, I threw together a quick breakfast. Nothing fancy at all, just my idea of a peace offering for yesterday.

When he came into the kitchen from his shower, he was wearing nothing but shorts.

 _Lord help me._

He had a towel wrapped around his neck to catch the drips from his still wet hair.

 _Damn._

I caught myself staring and quickly turned away. He is either oblivious to how cute he is or he knows exactly what he is doing. I'm leaning towards oblivion, and to me, that makes him down right irresistible.

He sat down to fresh fruit and coffee.

"Thank ya," he said.

I glanced back with a smile.

He was truly appreciative and it made me wonder how long it's been since someone has taken care of him.

While he ate, I cleaned up the mess and washed the few dishes in the sink. As I walked around him to head to the bathroom for my own shower, I noticed several scars on his back and right shoulder. Something possessed me to reach out and touch him.

"What's this?" I lightly touched the scar on his shoulder.

"Bullet," he said.

He stood up, took the towel off, and pointed to the front of his shoulder.

He towered above my 5'5" frame.

"It went in here and came out the back."

 _My God._

He watched my face as I reached up to touch the scar.

I then noticed a thin scar on the right side of his neck and slid my hand up to touch it.

"And this?"

"That was just a surgery I had when I was sixteen."

I nodded understandingly.

"But, this here ..." he said, pointing to the left side of his stomach at two, inch long slits, "stabbed tryin' to break up a fight."

"Oh, Lonnie ..."

My other hand made its way to his stomach, lightly touching those scars. I felt compelled to touch the places where he had been hurt.

The adult in my head was screaming to take my hands off him, but the young woman in me didn't want to let him go.

He covered my hands with his and slowly moved them to his chest. Running made his body lean and strong and I was mesmerized. His skin was warm and still damp from the shower and the smell of Irish Spring filled the air around me. It was intoxicating.

He watched as my hands roamed over his pecs, lightly brushing his nipples, and my fingertips made slow circles in the light tufts of his chest hair.

I felt a little dizzy and had to remind myself to breathe.

When I looked into his eyes, for the first time in my life, I became wildly aware that I really was a woman ...running without distraction, crystal clear thought.

The anticipation of his kiss had my stomach in fiery knots. So many emotions were playing with my head and a few with my heart. I've never felt like this in my whole life, I'm absolutely sure of it.

He took the half step closer to me, pressed my hands firmly against his chest, and brought his mouth down to mine.

It was brief, sweet, and innocent, and it was such a perfect kiss that I wanted to cry and scream out loud at the same time.

Despite being older than him, and having a child, I really was far less experienced and I had no clue what to do or say next. I opened my mouth hoping the right words would come out, but he took it as an invitation. My insides were in panic mode as he began to come for me again. Part of me wanted to run, and the other part, the smart part, wanted to enjoy every second of this moment.

I didn't take my eyes off his mouth as it came closer. I took particular interest in the tiny mole on the right side of his lips and suddenly realized how it made my knees weak.

 _Bliss._

His lips were so warm and moist, his mouth so open and inviting, and his tongue so sweet and probing ...slow and wet and beautiful. I have never been more grateful to be a woman.

 _Total bliss._

By the third ring I had to break away.

"You do hear the phone ringing, don't you?"

"Mmhm." He nodded but didn't move. His eyes on mine.

I smiled and gave him a playful nudge. "Well, go answer it. I have to shower."

"Yes ma'am."

As I walked down the hallway I heard the start of his conversation.

"Hello? ...Don't you good mornin' me, Parker. This better be very, very important ..."

That southern drawl has its own magic. I am in way over my head.

I went into the bathroom, closed the door, and leaned up against it reliving the last five minutes over and over. My heart was racing and my imagination went wild with thoughts of should I go or should I stay the few extra days, and if I stay ...then what?

 _Then what?_

I have no idea what I'm doing, but I do know one thing for sure, honeydew never tasted sweeter.

* * *

The once quiet station was very busy this morning, busier than I expected for such a small town. There were several officers talking with people and two more on phones. In all their doings, they briefly stopped as we entered, I assumed to get a peek at me, and then went on about their business.

Lonnie took me over to a small seating area around the right corner and left me there while he went to see the chief. On his way he spoke to a big burly cop.

"Bubba, ya got that paperwork I asked for?"

"I sure do, Lonnie boy." He quickly glanced over at me as he handed Lonnie a piece of paper. "Good luck."

"What? I'm no fool. I'm savin' this for the way out."

He folded the paper, stuck it in his back pocket, and went in to see the chief.

I was sitting there anxiously waiting for this whole thing to start and end, when one of the officers came over to me. I recognized him from my first visit.

"Ms. Morgan, hi there. I don't know if ya remember me ...from when ya were last here, Parker Williams."

"I do remember you. Hi. Please, call me Cath."

He smiled and offered me his hand. I took it.

"How's your head?"

"It's fine, thanks. Hardly know it's there."

"That's good. Uh, this shouldn' take too long for ya, just waitin' on the chief."

I took a deep breath.

"Can I get ya a cup of coffee or somethin', while ya wait?"

"No, thank you."

"Okay, well, I better get back to work. I guess I'll see ya tonight?"

It took me a minute to figure out that he was talking about the barbecue at Lonnie's.

"Oh, yea, I guess so."

"Good. I'm bringin' my girlfriend, Penny. Maybe you two could chat a bit."

I was a bit preoccupied, but he was being sweet. "Yea, sure."

Lonnie and the chief came out of the office and went into a room on the left side of the main area. They both looked over at me as they walked by. Lonnie's face looked almost sad, and a feeling of dread washed over me. They both went into the room and came out a few minutes later with Francie. The chief took her into his office and Lonnie came for me. My knees were shaking so bad I could hardly stand up.

"Eddie's been charged already so ya won't have to see him. Chief wants to talk to you and Francie, though."

All I could do was nod.

He took me by the hand and led me through the lobby. All eyes were on us, and again, I found myself grateful for his closeness.

* * *

The chief was at his desk and Francie was sitting on the couch. Lonnie led me to the chair behind the other big desk in the room and he stood right beside me. I did not even acknowledge her. I kept my eyes on the chief.

Chief Gillespie didn't waste time. He got right down to business. "Ms. Morgan, what are your accusations against Ms. Miller, here?"

I kept my answers short and to the point like Lonnie suggested.

"She threw a bottle at me ...a glass bottle. It hit me on the head and knocked me out."

"And you wish to press charges?"

"Yes, sir."

He looked at Francie. "Ms. Miller, do you have any accusations against Ms. Morgan, here?"

I looked over at her. I started to stand up, but Lonnie placed his hand on my shoulder to keep me seated. "Francie, what in the hell can you accuse me of?"

I guess it's been a few days since she's had a drink because she was in her usual pissy mood. "Cath, why did ya ever come here? ... Why?"

I was livid. "Answer me."

Her eyes started tearing up and she looked at the chief. "No."

He looked mockingly surprised at her answer. "Really? Well, looky there, a change of heart. I do like when that happens for the better." He looked at me. "Don't you Ms. Morgan?"

"It's hardly a change of heart when there's nothing she could accuse me of, now is it?"

"Well, that's true, but uh, I do believe that maybe she feels bad about what she did. She asked ya why ya came here, but she knows."

He looked at Francie. "You know, don't ya?" No answer.

He looked back at me. "She knows that ya came here to help her out because she's your kin ...your family. Ain't that right Ms. Miller?" He looked at her again, but she just sat there. She didn't say a word.

"What are you trying to say?" I asked.

He stood up and came around to the front of the desk and stood in front of me. "Have ya ever done anything wrong and had the blessing of a second chance?"

He wanted me to drop the charges. It was as plain as if he said those words himself.

"Yes, and with all due respect sir, I thought that's what I was here for in the first place ...to help her get a second chance. And do you know what I got in return? A busted lip and a busted head!"

"But, do ya think prison is the right answer here? Can ya maybe think of another alternative?"

"I have a feeling that you're going to tell me what to think."

"Now, look here young lady, don't you sass me!"

"Chief, I don't—" Lonnie started.

"Jamison! Out!"

"But, sir—"

He gave Lonnie a look that scared even me. Lonnie was ticked, but thankfully he left. I didn't want him in any kind of trouble over this.

The chief went back behind his desk and sat down. He was quiet for a few minutes and then he spoke directly to me. "Let's just calm down a minute and think this thing through."

"You asked me if I wanted to press charges and I said, yes. I'm not changing my mind."

Francie looked over at me, her eyes filled with rage. She stood up and finally made her piece.

"Go ahead, press charges! I might never see my baby again, but what do you care, huh? You don't!"

"I do care! You forget that I have a child too, Francie, and I left her to come to help you! What if that bottle had really hurt me and I couldn't get home to her ...what if ..." I didn't want to even think about it.

I was furious. My insides were boiling, but I promised Lonnie that I would try to remain calm.

"Cath, I'm sorry. I am!"

"You're not sorry, you're sober ...and there's a big difference."

She took a step closer to me and I could see her fists balling up. I was ready, but I was still doing everything I could to stay calm.

The chief came back around to stand at the front of the desk and as he did he waved his hand and Lonnie and two other officers came in. It was the big guy, Bubba, and a young pretty black female officer. They just stood inside the room in case they were needed.

"Ms. Miller, have a seat, please. Let's keep this civilized. I'm trying to work this out on your behalf," the chief said.

"Francie, don't be stupid. Please, listen to him," I said. I actually felt sorry for her.

She started getting louder. "Right, stupid Francie! Ya think you're so perfect, with the perfect easy life and the perfect kid. Getting your fancy degree to be a teacher. Try doing it all on your own, all of it! Ya just think you're better than everybody, don't ya, Cath? Well, ya ain't!"

I tried to remind myself that I was older and supposedly more mature, but it was hard to keep my mouth shut. Sometimes, the city just comes out.

"Oh, cry me a fucking river, Francie! You ain't doing anything on your own except sitting home on your ass, letting somebody else pay your way! That's easy! I'm almost 30 years old. Most weeks, I work sixty plus hours. It's taken me almost eight years to get my fancy four-year degree because I can only go part time! I'll give you one thing though, I do have the perfect kid, but I hardly see her because I work so much! And I gave up my one vacation a year, to come down here to help you because you asked me to, you ungrateful bitch! Oh, and by the way, you're welcome!"

I stood up. The already tense room became completely on edge. The only thing in between us was the desk.

"Now, I'm going to say these last things and then I'm going to be done with you, Francie. Do you hear me? Done. First, get help. Get as much as you can, you need it. Second, fix things with your mom and dad, _you need them_. And third, ...and I'm saying this in a room full of cops ...after what you did to me, if you ever come at me with your fists balled up like that again, I will beat you to a fucking pulp. _Now sit down._ "

She took the few steps back and sat down.

I took a deep breath and turned my attention to the chief.

"Sir, I apologize for my language. I have three brothers ...and you know ...city."

"Yeah, well, okay ..." he said, sounding a touch speechless.

"And ...I think that I have had that change of heart. She doesn't need prison. Send her wherever you think is best." I really did feel sorry for her.

Relief washed over him.

"Well now, Ms. Morgan, that makes me very happy. I thank ya for trusting my judgment. I try to be fair when I can."

I glanced at Lonnie and almost smiled.

The chief asked the female officer to take Francie downstairs to a cell. She had to stay in the station until she could be transported to the treatment program.

I stepped out from behind the desk to get ready to leave.

The chief stopped me before I moved any further. "We need to discuss a few more things before ya go. Please, have a seat."

He waited until Francie was gone and Lonnie shut the door before he spoke again.

I had a bad feeling.

"Now, we have the possibility of a situation here," the chief said. "I don't want to alarm ya, but there is a possibility that Mr. Cruz may try to do something."

"Who?" I asked.

"Nick," Lonnie answered.

"What? I thought you said he wasn't trying to hurt me that night."

Bubba took over. "Well, rumor has it, and it is just a rumor, that Nick and Eddie were plannin' some type of robbery together. With Eddie goin' to prison, old Nick is not too happy. Now, we don't know of anythin' for certain, and frankly we don't know where he is ...we just think it best that ya get on the first plane home."

My eyes met Lonnie's and suddenly I realized why he looked sad earlier, because I'm pretty sure I looked it now, too.

The chief noticed. "Well now, I thought ya would be thrilled to be goin' home. Not two days ago, you were in this very office mad as a mule chewin' on bumblebees, that ya had to stay."

"Well, sir, it seems that I've had a change of heart there, too."

"Oh, I see." He looked at Lonnie and then back to me. "Well, uh, Ms. Morgan, I can't make ya go, of course, but I can strongly advise ya to think about it."

"Yes sir. I will."

We all stood up and Bubba escorted me out to the lobby while Lonnie stayed in with the chief. I don't know what the conversation was about, but the yelling started almost immediately.

Every cop in the lobby looked at me and then made like they were working. I walked back over to the seating area and tried to blend in with the wall.

Closed doors did very little to mask the sound. Whatever the chief was yelling about, Lonnie was giving it back to him.

The few minutes he was in there seemed like hours.

When he came out of the office he had that paper in his hand. He handed it to Bubba and asked him if he would file it. Bubba said, "sure," and Lonnie headed for the door. He seemed to be ticked and in a hurry to leave the station, so I quickly followed him outside.

We were walking around to the back where his car was parked. He was walking so quickly that I practically had to jog just to keep up with him. I had to find out what got him so upset.

"I didn't get you in any trouble did I? The way he was yelling ... If I—"

He stopped on the sidewalk.

"I need to say somethin' to ya."

He just stood there. I could tell he was stalling.

"What?"

"I just ...I need to apologize for earlier."

I had no clue what he was talking about and my face showed it.

"In the kitchen ...I got carried away in the moment. I should never have kissed ya."

Talk about a kick in the stomach.

"I'm sorry if I gave ya the wrong impression," he added.

I didn't say a word. I turned and headed for the car, my stomach a knotted mess.

We drove for a few minutes in silence when he started to say something. I put my hand up to stop him.

"Don't. Just don't."

* * *

When we got back to his place I went straight to the back room and started packing. It seemed like a daily routine for me since I've been here, crying and packing.

I was so hurt and angry but I still had thoughts running in the back of my head of what happened. Stupid thoughts, too; what if my language embarrassed him, what if he was mad at how I talked to his old crush, Francie, what if thirty is a little too old, what if the chief ..."

The chief! I had an aha moment.

I went to the bathroom to splash some water on my face and then went looking for Lonnie.

I looked all through the house. There was no sign of him. He wasn't on either porch or in the car. I called out to him, but he never answered. I headed out to the barn but found it empty, too. Something told me to walk behind the barn ...and there he was, sitting in the blazing hot afternoon sun.

He was sitting on an old log that looked like it had been there a thousand years. It ran almost the length of the whole barn wall and was butted up against it. He was sitting directly in the middle of it, with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

I had a good idea of what was said in that office and I'm pretty sure that Lonnie was either following an order or at the very least, strong advice from the chief. But there were still a few things I wanted to know.

I went over and sat down right next to him. He turned his head just enough so that our eyes met.

"Boy, you could have won an academy award for that kiss this morning. Sure had me fooled. I thought it was real."

"I never said that I didn't want to, just that I shouldn't have. It was real, but it was wrong."

"Why, Lonnie? Why was it wrong?"

"It just ain't right, okay? You're a guest in my house and I took advantage of the situation."

"Says who? You or the chief?"

He looked at me like he knew, that I knew.

"It doesn't matter. Ya have to go home."

"Do you really think I'm in danger?"

"That's just it, I don't know."

"What did he say to you?"

He got up from the log and held out his hand to help me up. We went into the coolness of the house, but he ignored my question.

He headed towards his room.

"Just so you know, the way you kissed me ...is what changed my mind to stay the extra days. I had every intention of leaving today, but that kiss ...well, it doesn't matter now anyway, does it?"

I went to get my bags from the room and when I came out, he was still standing in the same spot. I reached under the little telephone table and got the yellow pages.

"What are ya doin'?"

"I'm finding a cab."

"I'll drive ya to the airport."

"Don't be silly. You have people coming over. I've taken cabs many times. I'll be okay."

But I wasn't okay. I was sick to my stomach because I wanted to stay. I wanted him to be my vacation ...I wanted him.

He came over and stood next to me. I knew he would eventually tell me what the chief said. I was just waiting. He didn't disappoint.

"I asked him if it was possible for me to use some of my vacation time on short notice. I've never taken more than a day and that was when momma died. When I handed him the paper to sign and he saw it was for a full shift, he had a few choice words for me. Guys do it all the time, but he told me I was a fool out here playin' house with you ...said that I was takin' advantage of the situation. Then he called me selfish ...said that I was riskin' your safety so I could keep ya here a few more days and that I better be smart and find a way to get ya on a plane as soon as possible. The kiss was the first thing I could think of."

"Lonnie, I doubt that—"

"He's right, Cath. Ya have to go."

I grabbed his hands and held them tight.

"Does it have to be this second? This place will be filled with cops tonight. I'm sure Nick is no fool. And, we can go to Jackson tomorrow and have a wonderful day ...and maybe a wonderful night."

He looked hard at me when I said that.

I took the half step to get right up to him and reached around his neck and pulled his mouth down to mine. It must have taken him a minute to make his mind up because that's how long it took for me to feel his hands around my waist pulling me in tighter. That's when I knew, I wasn't going anywhere.


	6. Chapter 6

**Tuesday,** **August 4** **th** **Bonfire**

I had never seen so much meat in all my life.

Bubba showed up around six with the biggest grill I had ever seen and what looked to me like a butchered cow ...a whole butchered cow.

We set the grill up in front of the barn and he asked me to help him get the meat started while Lonnie finished up in the kitchen. As we were preparing the grill, the interrogation started.

"So, how ya likin' our little neck o' the woods here, missy?"

"It's absolutely beautiful. Hot as hell, but beautiful."

"Well good, good. How's our Lonnie been treatin' ya?"

"He's the perfect gentleman."

"I don't doubt it. He's one of the good guys."

I smiled at that.

"I find myself a little worried about him, though," he added.

"Why?"

"Well, I've known him forever, ya see, and he's ...well, he's kinda like my kid brother. And we do a lot of stuff together, ya know, like hangin' out, fishin, and playin' cards and such, but this, this here's a first. He's a pretty private guy when it comes to his home and his life. Ain't neva had anythin' like this here before."

"He told me he has."

"Well, he hasn't. Why, I'm still plum shocked that you're here. I 'bout fell outta my chair when I heard he invited ya to stay."

"Really? He's never had a girlfriend stay with him or anything, before?"

"Nope, neva."

"Not even for one night?"

"I'm tellin' ya, no."

"And he tells you everything, right?"

His eye brows shot up and he gave me a look like he couldn't believe that I questioned his knowledge.

I smirked a little. "Okay, I get it. But what worries you?"

On the opposite side of the house, a jeep pulled in. It was Parker.

Bubba looked at me with what I took as a look of concern. "When ya leave."

He headed over to help unload the jeep just as Parker came over with a cooler of beer and ice and sat it on the side of the barn.

He smiled and tipped his hat to me. "Hey Cath, good to see ya again."

Something was missing.

"Parker, I thought you said you were bringing your girlfriend."

"Oh, ya know how women like to be fashionably late. She'll be here in a bit, and she's bringin' a friend from work. Bubba's girl is comin' later too, so you'll have plenty of girls to talk ...girl talk with."

"Okay, great. Looking forward to it."

I grabbed two beers and excused myself to the house.

Lonnie was chopping veggies for a huge salad. He looked right at home in the kitchen.

I watched him for a few seconds when he glanced over at me.

"What?" He asked.

"You throw an apron on and lose those shoes and I might never leave."

Oh, that smile! I have to make it happen more often.

"Well, I know what I'm wearin' when I take ya to the airport," he said.

That comment made me pout with the first thoughts of actually leaving.

"You sure are a charmer, Officer Jamison."

I walked over, sat the beers down, and rested my forehead against his arm.

"Remember my rules for tonight?"

I looked up at him and sighed dramatically. "Yes, dad. Stay close to you and enjoy myself."

He bent down and kissed me lightly on the lips. He made me feel wonderful.

"You really are a charmer," I said.

"Well, I do try."

That deep voice sets my heart a flutter every time. It makes other parts of me flutter, too.

I went to the back room to see if I had anything at least a little more feminine to wear. No luck. If this little get-together were all men, I wouldn't even care, but for some reason, knowing women will be here made me feel a little self-conscious.

I dug in the basket of clothes that I had taken off the line earlier and found something that I thought would be appropriate; Lonnie's Sparta High tank. I didn't think he would mind.

When I came back into the kitchen, it was empty. I Looked out back to see Lonnie talking with Bubba, Parker, and two uniformed officers. Watching him, I couldn't help but to let my imagination run wild with silly thoughts.

 _Cay would love it here._

 _Lonnie would love her even though she wasn't his._

 _We could be a family._

 _Just a silly girl's fantasy._

I had to make sure to keep my emotions in check or this would hurt.

The knock on the front door brought me back to reality. As I walked across the floor, I thought about what the chief told Lonnie and I smiled to myself because it really did feel like I was playing house.

I opened the door to a real live southern belle. Every strand of her big curly hair was perfect. She was wearing the perfect summer dress that matched her perfect summer sandals, and she was not sweating one drop. Impossible.

"Cath! So nice to meet ya darlin'."

I never had a chance to say a word before her and her friend, made their way through the door and into the kitchen. Both of their hands were filled with trays and bags of food.

 _How many people were coming?_

After all hands were emptied, introductions were made.

Penny really was a true southern belle. She was beautiful, sophisticated, and so cheerful. I could totally see her and Parker being perfect for each other.

The other girl, Winnie, was the exact opposite. She was what I would call a redneck. She was wearing the shortest shorts I had ever seen, a skimpy top, and cowboy boots. She was definitely on the hunt for a man, and judging by the way she was looking at the pictures on the living room wall, I knew exactly who it was.

While we worked in the kitchen, I found out that Penny and Winnie were new friends. Winnie, only a few weeks ago, started working at the bank where Penny works. Over time, they discovered that they share a common friend; Lonnie.

Winnie told me that she's known Lonnie since high school. I wondered how well she knew him.

We were just about ready to carry everything out back when I made a comment about the amount of food.

Penny beamed with pride. "Most of these little get-together's are at our place," She placed her hand on my arm. "Parker's and mine. And everybody brings food and we always make plenty because all of the guy and gals that are on duty, pop in for a bite to eat. It's a grand time. You'll see."

I liked her.

"I'm looking forward to it."

"The next one will be in a few weeks. Would love to have ya over!"

"I'm only here for a few more days."

"Oh, that's too bad."

"When are ya leaving?" Winnie asked from the living room.

 _Calm down kid, I'm not done with him, yet._

The back door opened and in came Parker and Lonnie.

"Here's where the real party is," Parker said. He went over and kissed Penny on the cheek. They were the cutest couple.

"Hi Lonnie," Winnie said, as she finally came into the kitchen.

"Oh, hi Winnie, Penny." He gave them both a nod as he made his way around the table to me.

I never expected a kiss or anything of the sort from Lonnie. I had a feeling that he was not one to show affection in public. We were only going to be a 'couple' for a couple of days anyway, so maybe he thought it best to keep it private. That didn't stop me from placing my hand on his backside when he came over to ask if we needed help. It seems that I was unconsciously marking my territory.

"That shirt sure looks better on you," he said.

I smiled as the warmth filled my cheeks.

* * *

The food was amazing and the company proved the same. Everyone was in such a great mood, including me. The beer might have had something to do with it, but It seemed like they were just genuinely nice people. I was very relaxed around all of them.

Occasionally, a patrol car would pull in and the officers would get their bellies filled and chat for a bit. I thought that was the coolest part.

Everyone had their fill and we ended up just chatting and drinking and getting acquainted.

Lonnie stayed close by me, including me in conversations to keep me from sitting by myself.

One such conversation lead them all to know how I came to stay with him.

"Oh, right! It was my shift that night at the hospital. I remember when they brought ya both in," Bubba's girlfriend, Tracy, said. "You did that to him?"

I felt slightly embarrassed. "He wasn't that badly hurt ...was he?" I asked.

"Well, I remember he had a fractured jaw and a bruised rib ...and a pretty nice black eye."

Everyone looked at me and I had no choice but to give them a watered down version of my attack ten years ago and how I've learned to defend myself since. The women were all impressed and wanted me to teach them everything I knew in the next hour, but the men were equally unimpressed, because out of all of the ways I had learned to defend myself, I had never learned to shoot a gun, much less hold one.

"Ya know," Bubba said, "our Lonnie boy here is an expert marksman. He would be a great teacher."

 _I sure would like him to teach me a few things._

"I will definitely keep that in mind," I said, giving Lonnie a look slightly more seductive than I should have.

He blushed a bit and I wondered if he had read my mind.

* * *

The sun was fully set and the air cooled just a bit, but not much.

The tiki torches that were posted around the yard provided plenty of light, I thought, but there was a big pile of wood at the far end of the yard that the guys were getting ready to light.

"A bonfire? Really? It's gotta be seventy degrees out here," I said.

Bubba looked shocked. "Now who in their right mind would have a barbeque without a bonfire? It ain't natural."

I smiled and shook my head.

The girls all stayed up by the house, gathered in a lawn chair circle, talking, while the guys headed down to light the fire. All, but one guy.

Lonnie was never far away and Penny noticed.

I decided that it was time for him to go off duty. I grabbed a beer and brought it over to him.

"Thanks," he said. "Y'all gettin' along ova there?"

"Yep. Everyone's been great. This was really nice. I hear you were a barbeque virgin."

He looked scandalized.

I playfully swatted his arm. "Oh, stop. Someone may have mentioned that this is the first time you've hosted one of these things, that's all."

"Oh yeah? Parker tellin' stories again?"

"You've got some great friends, Lonnie ...and one not so secret admirer."

He knew exactly who I meant.

He leaned closer. "Now, don't ya start tryin' to play matchmaker, again. Ya hear me?"

"On one condition."

His eyes got wide. "What?"

I gave him a stern look. "Officer Jamison, you are officially off duty. I order you to go down there with your friends and relax."

He ignored me and took a swig of beer.

"C'mon Lonnie, you really think Nick could be that stupid? Relax! Please!"

I gently nudged him towards the fire.

"Ya sure are bossy," he said.

"I said, please."

When he got a few feet away he turned back to look at me and I threw him a kiss. His face softened a bit and he smiled.

My heart skipped a beat.

* * *

I grabbed myself a beer and headed back to my chair to another round of twenty questions.

They asked more about the self-defense stuff I've learned, about Cay, and work, and school. They were both terrified and amazed that I live in a city with close to a million people.

I learned about their lives and jobs and just general life here in Sparta. I was amazed and a little envious that they live in a town with a population of roughly twelve thousand.

Sparta definitely has its charms, but our lives are like night and day.

We learned all we could about each other, now it was all guy talk.

I started off with the one question I was dying to ask.

"Why on Earth isn't Lonnie married?"

"Oh Lord, girl, I don't know." Penny replied. "Most of the guys at the station are single ...even my guy." She waved her left hand to show me that there was no ring on her finger. "I adore my Parker, but after two years, I'm still waitin' for him to pop the question."

"It's a cop thing, I think." Tracy added. "The guys have this fear of getting hurt or killed on the job and they don't want to leave a wife and kids behind. Bubba's kind of mentioned it to me a few times."

I looked across the yard at Lonnie. "I can see how that makes sense. Lonnie's dad died when he was young and left his mom to raise him alone. Maybe that's it."

We all sat in silence for a minute before Winnie chimed in.

"When did ya say ya were leaving?"

 _Okay, kid!_

"I fly out Monday afternoon."

Penny perked up. "Oh! Come to the pond with us on Saturday!"

"Swimming?" I asked.

"Yes! We can all bring some food to feed the boys while we enjoy the sun. It's a relaxing time. Ya should come."

"Sounds like fun," I said.

"Great! I'll call ya tomorrow and we'll make plans."

"Won't be here. Lonnie's taking me to Jackson for the day."

"Oh! I think the blues festival is going on. Could be very romantic," Tracy cooed.

I couldn't help smiling at that, but made sure they knew that romance was the furthest thing from my mind.

Winnie got up and headed down towards the bonfire.

Penny watched her walk away and whispered, "I think someone has romancin' that man on her mind."

I held my beer up. "More power to her."

 _Bitch._

There was something about her that I didn't like. It made me sad to think of Lonnie living such a lonely life, but she was not the one for him. Maybe I'm just a little jealous of what she could have with him and what she could give to him, but I just don't see her as being Mrs. Jamison.

Penny, Tracy, and I chatted a little more about the guys and any hopes of wedding bells for them. I kept glancing down to where Lonnie was and noticed that he seemed more interested in talking to the guys than to Winnie. I hope he doesn't think I sent her down there.

Just then, a squad car pulled in and the three of us headed over to make sure they had plenty of food and drink. The guys made their way up from the fire and started talking about the things that these cops talk about; trouble in Sparta.

Thankfully, it had been a quiet shift.

Lonnie pulled one of the officers aside to introduce me to him.

"Cath, I think it's time ya met my good friend, Wilson Sweet."

He held out his hand and I took it. "Nice to finally meet ya," he said.

"You were in the car outside of Francie's that first day. I remember you."

"Yes ma'am."

"Sweet's keepin' an extra eye out for Nick for me." Lonnie said.

"So far, no sign of him. He could've left town for all we know."

"Well, just let me know if ya hear of anythin' at all."

"You got—"

Gunshots exploded in the distance. I instinctively stepped closer to Lonnie and he put his arm around me.

"It's okay," he said, "That's nowhere near us."

"Well, my party's over," Sweet said, excitedly. "Thanks for dinner."

As the two officers got into their car, Lonnie yelled out, "Yell if ya need us!"

I know what being a cop means, I'm from a big city, but hearing those gunshots made it all too real to me; his job is extremely dangerous, even in a small town.

I took his hand in mine and gave it a light squeeze. He looked down at me.

"For a second there, I forgot you were a cop."

He squeezed back.

We watched as they backed out of the driveway. When they made it to the street, they turned on their lights and siren. Against the darkness all around us, they looked like fireworks shooting up the road.

Parker came over with his portable radio.

"It's just the local rowdies at Mason's Dixieline bar." He said. He saw the look on my face and added that it was nothing to be concerned about and that, "it happens more often than one would think."

My face didn't change.

Penny came over and took Parker's hand. "Do y'all mind if I borrow him for a little while?"

"Oh, sure," Lonnie said.

Parker blushed. After two years with her, he still blushes. What a sweetheart.

We watched as she lead him down near the left side of the yard where the fire was burning. Bubba and Tracy were slow dancing in the shadows and that's where Penny was taking Parker. Someone had turned on music down there. It was too low for me to make out the song, but It was all rather romantic.

I was hopeful that Lonnie would take me down too, but after a few minutes I realized that wasn't going to happen.

The beer started nagging me to get him alone though, so I grabbed two beers and led him into the yard.

"If you're headin' to the dance floor, I have some bad news for ya," he said.

"No …just some place quiet."

We ended up behind the barn.

We both sat on the old log, stretched out our legs, and rested against the barn wall.

Starting with an early run, this day turned out to be long for both of us.

There was just enough light from the bonfire that I could make out his features.

He took a deep breath and let it out slow.

"I know you're tired," I said.

"Yep."

"You know, we don't have to go to Jackson tomorrow. We can sleep in and just chill the rest of the day."

He shook his head. "I'll be fine."

I rested my head on the barn wall and just watched him. His eyes were closed and he was finally relaxing.

This could possibly be quite a romantic moment, but unfortunately, I'm a chatty drunk, and sometimes, stuff just comes out.

"Lonnie?"

"Yea?"

"You ever been in love?"

He opened his eyes and stared straight ahead. He didn't move or make a sound and I instantly regretted asking him. Maybe it was too personal.

"Can't say that I have," he finally said.

"I can't figure out why no one has snagged you yet," I said, giving him a little nudge.

I was trying to be playful, but he didn't respond.

He was quiet for a while. I think maybe I crossed a line. I'm sure he's lonely and I'd bet he doesn't need reminding of it. I let the subject drop.

I rested my head back against the wall and looked up. I was stunned by the number of stars. Never in my whole life had I ever seen anything like it.

I gasped and he looked over at me.

"What?" he asked.

"I just saw a shooting star! Don't see much of them up my way."

"Oh, yea? Ya make a wish?"

I looked at him. "Of course not. I don't believe in that silly nonsense."

"Nothin' silly about wantin' somethin' bad enough to wish for it."

I looked back up to the stars.

"Even if it's impossible?" I asked.

I felt his hand on my chin pulling me towards him. After several soft kisses, his lips forced mine open. I felt his hot breath in my mouth. I could taste beer from his tongue mixed with the salt from the sweat on his lips. He kissed me long and fiercely deep.

 _Bliss._

When the kiss ended, his thumb lightly brushed my lips. I could barely see his face now, but I could feel his breath in on my neck.

"Nothin's impossible," he said. "Do ya hear me, Cath? Nothin'."

I wanted so desperately to be young and dumb and able to believe in those kind of nonsense wishes, but I was older and a mother. Drunk or not, I had to keep it real or I would lose myself to something that could never be. I wanted him so desperately to make love to me, but I could not let myself fall in love. I had to stay in control.

I placed my hand over his and gently pulled it from my face.

"Some things are."

* * *

"I looked in every room. No sign of her," I said, pulling the back door closed behind me.

"Where on Earth is that girl?" Penny asked, looking around the yard.

Parker and Lonnie came from the front of the house with no luck as well.

"Is it possible she fell asleep in the car?" I asked.

"That's the first place I looked," Bubba said.

"Did anyone check the vette?" I asked. I wouldn't put anything passed her.

Lonnie headed over to the car mumbling something about Winnie being a pain. He opened the door to make sure it was empty. "She ain't in here."

"I'm sorry, I have to go. It's late," Tracy said. "Cath, it was so nice meeting you. See ya Saturday?"

"Yep. I'll see you then. Thanks for coming."

"C'mon darlin, I'll walk ya to your car." Bubba grabbed the wrapped food that she was holding. "Y'all have a good evenin'," he said.

Lonnie looked exhausted. "So what do we do about Winnie?"

"Listen, if she's passed out drunk around here, we ain't gonna find her. When she comes to, she'll come inside," Parker said. "I've spent many a night, young and drunk, sleepin' it off in a field."

"Parker Williams!" Penny looked shocked.

"Sweetie, I'm just sayin' she's probably somewhere close by and sleepin' it off. I'm sure she'll be fine."

Lonnie had enough. "Well, I'm headin inside. She knocks on the door, I might let her in. Y'all go on home. We'll call ye when she gets here."

Penny was a little hesitant to go, but you didn't have to ask Parker twice. He had his hands filled with bags and already on his way to the jeep.

Lonnie said his goodbyes and headed into the house while I walked Penny to her car.

"Cath, ya think she's all right?"

"She's probably somewhere sleeping it off like Parker said."

"You'll call me, no matter what time, right?"

"You have my word. As soon as I see her, I'll call you."

She got in the car and rolled her window down.

"Listen, I can tell ya like Lonnie more than ya let on. If ya wanna talk, I have an ear, sweetie."

I knew I liked her.

"I think I'll take you up on that Penny, thanks. Night."

The cars pulled away and I headed in to help Lonnie put away the remaining food.

I must have taken too long to say my goodbyes because he was passed out on the couch.

I didn't bother waking him. He was exhausted and I know he was ticked off at me for ruining a perfectly good romantic moment behind the barn, but I couldn't help it. As much as I want him physically, I know I can't handle getting emotionally attached.

I got busy wrapping up food and finding places for everything. Thankfully, most of it got eaten and they took a lot of it with them, so it didn't take me too long. I washed the remaining dishes and jumped into a quick shower.

I came out to the living room and looked at him sleeping. I was hoping to sleep on the couch tonight in the air conditioning, but that's out now. For a second I thought about crawling in his bed to take advantage of the ac in his room, but I didn't feel brave enough, yet. So, I headed to the front bedroom. I stripped down as much as I dare and laid face down across the bed in front of the window fan.

Bubba's concern popped into my head. I get that he's going to be worried about his friend when I leave, but who's going to worry about me?


	7. Chapter 7

**Wednesday, August 5th**

I will never drink again. And this time, I mean it.

I was still on my stomach in the exact position that I fell asleep in. My neck was stiff as a board, my mouth tasted like dirty socks, and I had to pee something fierce, but my body ached so bad I was afraid to move.

As gently as I dared, I picked my head up to turn it, and as I did, I came face to face with a sleeping Lonnie.

 _What the hell?_

I watched him sleep for a few minutes and wondered how he ended up in here.

The top of his hair was tousled and blowing all over from the fan, and his mouth was squished open from his face being pressed against the mattress. He hadn't shaved in a few days and that made him so damn sexy. And yet, there was almost an innocence about him, and I could not help but smile at how beautiful he was like this.

I carefully reached over to move a piece of hair from his forehead. He had a light mist of sweat across his brow and I didn't think the air from the fan could get to it.

I pulled my hand back, rested it under my chin, and just watched him. I could have watched him like this for hours, but his nose twitched a bit and he opened his eyes.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you."

"It's all right. What time is it?"

"I don't know. Sun hasn't been up that long."

He raised himself up to look at the clock on the dresser and then turned over onto his back. He stretched his long, lanky, body out, and as he did, he reached down to adjust himself. That's when I realized he was only wearing boxers.

 _Lord have mercy._

After his adjustments, his arms ended up behind his head and he just lay there staring at the ceiling. He was still and quiet and I thought he was going to go back to sleep.

I kept my own breathing relaxed and just watched him. He had no clue what he was doing to me.

A few minutes passed before he spoke.

"Nobody wants to be stuck here. That's why."

"What?"

"Ya said ya wondered why I was alone. That's why. Most of the girls here are all tryin' to find a way outta Sparta ..." He turned to look at me. "...and I'll never leave. Does that answer your question?"

"Yes."

He rolled onto his side to face me, his body now inches from mine.

 _Breathe._

"Just like you," he said.

"Me?"

He smiled as his hand reached up to calm my crazy hair and then down to caress my bare back.

His touch ...a different kind of bliss.

Our eyes met and the smile left.

"I won't leave ...and you won't stay."

"We can have some fun, but don't try to make this something it can't be. I can't stay. There's a difference."

He rolled over onto his back again and stared at the ceiling. "I know."

* * *

It was time to give in to my bladder, but when I went to lift my head off the bed, I paused; no bra. I thought for a quick second and figured what the hell, it was Lonnie. Besides, we're both adults, my scars were covered under my band, and I had panties on. I was covered more than he was.

I rolled over so that my back was to him, and sat up on the edge of the bed. I pulled my hair band out to let my hair fall so I could straighten it out. I noticed his bottom shifted a bit and wondered if he was watching me.

My body was still quite sore so I stretched my arms above my head and arched my body left and right to ease some of the stiffness.

I couldn't help but to notice the fabric of his boxers move just a bit. He brought his hand down to adjust himself again, and then I knew, he was.

I smiled to myself.

"Be right back," I said.

After a record breaking pee and a swig of mouthwash, I looked in the mirror and asked myself if this is really what I wanted. My insides were on fire and to me that was a yes. I was positively giddy with excitement and for the first time in a very long time, I felt like a normal woman.

The real question is, after years of being afraid, do I have the guts to go after it?

Only one way to find out.

* * *

I stood at the edge of the bed and just looked at him.

He was lying on his side with one leg bent at the knee, and it revealed a perfect view of the fine hairs on the inner part of his upper thigh.

That sight alone brought a tingling sensation between my legs that I know I've never felt before.

He was definitely worth the wait.

 _Here goes everything._

I lightly rubbed his calf.

He looked up, and for a second I thought he could see my heart beating through my chest, it was racing so fast. Then I realized what he was staring at. When they aren't covered under bras that are under tank tops that are under baggy t-shirts, my breasts are the most feminine thing about my body. The good Lord blessed me well. And even after feeding my child and years of self-defense classes and working out, they've remained full and still pretty firm. They're not perfect and perky like they once were, but they definitely had his attention.

He sat up and held out his hand, inviting me in.

He's the first man that has seen me this vulnerable in over ten years. He would never see my scars ...ever, but I wanted him enough to put myself out there, and here I was.

He wrapped his arm around my waist, pulled me in close and kissed me so sensually and so passionately that I would swear under oath that I had never been kissed before.

 _Sparta girls sure taught him well._

He leaned back and looked me up and down. His hand roamed slowly over my breasts, cupping them and kneading them. He took his sweet time. The anticipation was almost unbearable as his hand started heading down. Almost.

When he got to my stomach he started to pull the velcro of my band and I placed my hand on his to stop him.

"It's there for a reason," I said.

"You don't need this."

"It's not a girdle, Lonnie. It's my ...camouflage."

He didn't understand.

"It hides my scars ..."

I rubbed the bullet wound on his shoulder.

" ...Not everyone wears their scars like a badge of honor."

He released the velcro and laid his hand flat across my belly and looked at me. He kissed me so tenderly.

"You're beautiful. Nothin' under this thing's gonna change that."

 _Me, beautiful?_

"Then let's not worry about what's under it. Okay?"

"Okay."

He continued exploring my body. His hands were electric and it took everything in my power not to cry out at his touch.

"That feel good, baby?"

 _Baby._

I was speechless and breathless so I simply nodded.

My senses were on overload.

There were so many things I wanted to do to him and for him but right now, I was being selfish. I was melting under his touch and I never wanted it to end. But I noticed the sweat on the top of his back and shoulders and I figured a change of location was called for.

"Lonnie?" I said, breathlessly.

"Mmhm?"

I looked down to him, his face moving back and forth between my breasts.

Lord, I did not want him to stop!

I tugged on his hair a bit to get his attention.

"Hey …"

He looked up at me with those damn sexy eyes. I ran my fingers lightly through his stubble and across his lips.

" ...I want you to fuck me in your bed."

His hand froze. The look on his face told me something was wrong.

"What?" I asked.

"Winnie's in there."

A red fury took hold of me and I pushed him away so hard he hit into the wall behind him.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" I yelled, as I jumped out of the bed. I grabbed the dirty clothes from yesterday and started putting them on.

He jumped up and grabbed my arms. "What is wrong with you?!"

I yanked my arms away from him and stepped away.

"What you do, fuck her in the middle of the night and come in here trying to get a two-fer?!"

"No! Ya know, you're crazy!"

I sat on the edge of the bed with his Sparta high tank on and one leg in my jeans, shaking from anger and frustration.

"Cath, do you really think—"

"The way I heard it, you probably fucked half the girls in Sparta before you graduated high school, so yeah, I do think ...Leave!"

As I recall, Francie had only said that he "always had a different girl on his arm." She never actually said it the way I did, but this is how it came out, and it definitely struck a nerve. He turned red and his fists curled into tight balls. I know deep in my heart that he would never hurt me, so I sat there, tears streaming, boiling in my own rage.

He stormed out of the room, and not ten minutes later I heard the vette speed out of the driveway.

I fell back on the bed and cried.

My body was aching with want. I was so close.

I wondered if anyone had ever died from sexual frustration ...or killed someone because of it.

* * *

It wasn't long after he left, that I smelled coffee.

Nick's face popped in my head, but I doubted he would break in here and make a pot, so I pulled my leg out of the jeans, cleaned myself up, and went to investigate.

When I came into the kitchen, Winnie was sitting at the table like she lived here. I had assumed that Lonnie took her when he left. I was wrong.

 _Just great._

I really didn't like her. As a woman, I understood why she did what she did ...but she's just not right for him.

She held up her cup. "I didn't think Lonnie would mind. I made a pot."

"You need to call Penny," I said.

"I did. Parker will be here to pick me up by ten. How long do ya think Lonnie will be?"

I looked at the clock. 9:38. Ugh. I wanted her gone.

"Not sure. He had a few errands to run."

I poured myself a cup and sat across from her.

"That was some stunt you pulled last night. What you do, hide in his closet when I came in looking for you?"

She ignored me. She just sat there looking smug, eyeing up the kitchen. I wondered if she was making mental notes about what kitchen curtains she's going to buy when she moves in.

I decided to make small talk.

"So, you and Lonnie were high school sweethearts?"

"I guess ya could say that."

"Must not have been too serious."

"It was serious enough for high school. We had lots of fun."

 _I bet you did._

"You're still interested in him; I take it?"

"Obviously," she said, quite nastily.

 _Bitch_

"Listen Winnie, I get it. I do. He's a great guy. But, don't you think if he was interested he would have come after you a long time ago?"

"It don't matter. I'm here now."

"So am I."

A wicked smile crossed her face.

"I'll be sure to stop by and say hi on Tuesday. Oh, wait ...that's right, you won't be here."

So much for small talk.

"You're not his type, kid."

"Kid? My my, you're a jealous old hen, ain't ya," she said.

"Jealous? No. Older? Yes. But don't worry honey, Lonnie doesn't mind older."

"Course not. He needs someone old to take care of him. Ya know, to cook and clean for him and do his laundry ...just like the momma ya are."

 _The bitch went there._

It was my turn to smile my own wicked little smile.

I stood up and pulled the neckline of my top down to show her a few of the suck marks he left this morning.

"Little girl, you are wrong on so many levels."

She huffed a bit, stood up, and walked out the front door to wait for Parker.

So much for being older and more mature. I think I enjoyed that a little more than I should have.

* * *

This textbook would have been a great time killer, if I had actually read it. I don't even know why I pulled it out of my bag. My mind could think of nothing else but this morning ...how he kissed me and how he touched me. But, mostly, how he made me feel.

I was just about to head into the back room to finish what he started when he walked in the front door. It was just past one.

Those butterflies were still very much alive.

He put his keys in the glass bowl on the piano and stood there looking at me.

"Can I talk to ya a minute?" He asked.

"Sure."

I closed my book and sat it next to me on the love seat where I was curled up. He sat on the couch directly across from me.

I was expecting him to tell me I had to leave, so I tried to be funny. "I haven't packed my bags yet, today. Should I go do it now?"

Not even a hint of a smile.

In my few days here, I have found Lonnie to be a man of very few words, so I didn't think this would take long. He can be blunt, sometimes painfully, but he gets his point across. He's usually calm and cool, too, but he was definitely uneasy right now.

He fidgeted with his fingers for a bit before he looked at me.

"Cath, I can't change my past. I can apologize for it, but I can't change it. I sure wish I could."

"What are you talking about?"

"What ya said this mornin' about high school ..."

He looked back down to his hands.

"...I never thought about how bad it would sound 'til ya said it."

There was some truth to it after all.

" ...Now, don't go thinkin' it was half, but, it was right more than I shoulda."

He was confessing to me, of all people; an unwed mother.

"Lonnie, we all have a past."

"I'm not that guy anymore. Ya might not believe it after this mornin', but it's true ...and I'm sorry about that."

 _Be brave. Say it out loud._

"Don't apologize for this morning. I wanted it, too."

 _I still do._

"Yeah, well, I think we should tone it down a bit."

And just like that, the butterflies were gone and I was left with an empty feeling in my gut.

"Okay," was all I could say.

"And just so you know, I never touched Winnie last night. I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom ...checked on you to make sure ya were okay, and when I went to climb in my bed, she was there. So, I came back in with you ...I swear I never touched her."

Curiosity got the best of me.

"Did you touch her in high school?"

He didn't have to say a word. I could read his face like a book. They had been lovers. Maybe she was his type.

"It was a long time ago, Cath."

"You don't owe me an explanation, Lonnie. You don't owe me anything at all."

* * *

I heard the bedroom door creak open but I kept my eyes facing the window fan. Every window in this house shows nothing but wide open country, but this is the view I'll remember the most. This bedroom has been my sanctuary.

"I made some supper. Ya hungry?"

I shook my head.

"You okay?" He asked, as he walked in the room.

I turned to look at him. He had shaved. It took years off his already young face.

"Do you remember that day at the hospital ...when you put your hand on my back and held me?"

"Yea. I remember. Ya were shakin' so hard."

"With all the craziness going on that day, that's what I'll always remember."

"Why's that?"

"You were the first man that held me like that in a very, very long time."

He came over and sat at the foot of the bed.

"And why's that?"

I heard his story. I wanted him to hear mine.

"I met Cay's dad, like, two months before I turned twenty. He wasn't really my type, but it happened. He was a few years older and more worldly, whatever that really means ...and I was a virgin. We had been dating for a few months when I found out I was pregnant. When I told him ...well, you know he left. I kind of expected it ...but it still turned my world upside down. I learned to live with it, though. I had my mother and my sister helping me, and life went on. When I was about eight months along he asked me out on a date ...said we should try to work things out and be a family. It was like this huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders that I didn't have to go through it alone. I was so happy."

I sat back closer to the headboard of the bed and grabbed a pillow to hold. I gazed out the window and went to that place in my head where I go when I relive that day; the place where I make myself believe it was a TV show I watched or a book I read ...that it didn't actually happen to me.

"We went to dinner and talked and made plans for the future. It all seemed so perfect. We even got a hotel for the night. He made it special."

I hugged the pillow tighter as the tears poured.

"He played such the doting father, rubbing my belly and talking to her ...Said he was afraid he would hurt her if we had sex. I told him not to worry, that people do it up to the last days, that we just had to be careful. So, he took me. He was so sickeningly gentle because he didn't want to hurt her! He said he didn't want to hurt her!"

I looked at Lonnie. He was sitting much closer and he was holding my hand. I don't know how he got it. I didn't even feel him take it. I was numb.

"After he finished in me, he got up from the bed and went to the bathroom. I just laid there rubbing my belly, with not a care in the world."

I used my free hand and pointed to my side.

"The first cut got me here. I didn't even see it coming. I started screaming, but he came at me again. I blocked him as best I could but I was so weak. He got to my stomach twice more before people started banging on the door to help. I still remember the noise so vividly. They were banging so hard and I was screaming so loud ...An hour later I was at the hospital and Cay was here."

I closed my eyes and concentrated on my hand in his and the feeling of his thumb tracing circles over the back of it. I'm sure he didn't know what to say ...this was enough.

"You're worried about the number of girls you slept with when you were a kid, Lonnie …"

I held up one finger.

" ...One man. I've been with one man in my whole life and he messed my head up so fucking bad. For ten years, I've been terrified of men, and I mean that literally ...terrified. Can you even understand what that means?"

He shook his head.

Of course he didn't understand. Nobody knows what ten years of fear feels like, how bad loneliness can hurt, and what the absence of human physical contact can do to a person.

"It's very lonely ...emotionally, spiritually, humanly. It's so much more than just a physical thing. Most nights it's not so bad ...some nights it is. But, I take care of that myself, you know?"

That, he understood.

"I was dealing with it, until you," I said.

He started to say something but got cut-off by the telephone. He hesitated a second before he let my hand go.

When he came right back, I thought it might have been Cay, but it wasn't. I wanted to hear her voice so bad. She is the calm in the storm in my head.

He seemed a little on edge. "C'mon, we have to go for a quick ride."

"Do I have to go?"

"Yea. I'm not leavin' ya alone."

"You had no problem leaving this morning."

"Ya weren't alone this mornin'."

"Ugh. Yeah, thanks for that."

He watched as I took a quick look in the mirror. I was a wreck from head to toe, but this was honest. This was me.

There was little light left in the evening sky when we headed out. As we walked off the front porch, he touched my arm. "Can we finish talkin' when we get back?"

"I said everything I had to say."

"Well, I got a few questions," he said.

* * *

We were headed to a place called 'the bottoms' to check on a kid that Lonnie looks out for. He said that the call was from a friend letting him know that the kid was there and that it could only mean trouble.

His name was Eugene, and Lonnie took some sort of responsibility for him. And while he didn't go into too much detail about the situation, I could tell this kid meant something to him.

We pulled up to a house that kind of reminded me of Francie's. It was a bit rundown, but could easily have been fixed up. There were two police cars there with lights flashing. This wasn't good.

Lonnie reached into the glove box and took out, what looked like a wallet, which in reality, turned out to be his badge on a belt clip.

"Stay in the car, this shouldn't take too long," he said.

"Okay."

He got out, clipped his badge to his belt, and walked over to a small group of officers not far from where we were parked. I cracked the window to see if I could hear what was going on. Apparently there was a fight, it involved drugs, and somehow it involved Eugene.

Lonnie walked into the house and a few minutes later came out with a young black kid. He brought him over by the back of the car and started reprimanding him. Lonnie was ticked.

"What is wrong with ya, man? I stick my neck out for ya and this is how ya repay me?"

"I'm sorry, Lonnie, honest. Wrong place, wrong time. I didn't have anything to do with any of it."

"That's what they said, but I wanna know why are ya even here? I thought ya were smart."

"I am! I'm telling you, it won't happen again."

"Don't make me regret this, Eugene. This could cost me a lot more than it could cost you. Go on home ...and stay outta the bottoms."

He watched Eugene climb into a jeep and drive away. He gave me a quick nod and then walked back over to talk to the officers for a few minutes. On his way back over to the car, a man pulled him aside. It was an older black guy and he pulled Lonnie far enough away from the crowd and the car, that I couldn't hear a word.

When he got in the car I could tell something was wrong, but I didn't think it was any of my business, and I didn't ask.

* * *

He was quiet the whole way home. When we pulled up to the front of the barn I turned to him to ask what was wrong.

I looked over to see him looking at me.

"Ya wanna stay til Monday or do ya wanna leave tomorrow?" He asked.

"What's going on? What did that man say?"

"He said he heard the name Nick Cruz, today. Now, I don't know what that means, but it's worth payin' attention to."

I sat back in the seat and thought about it. I didn't think Nick meant me any harm, I truly didn't. I thought about Cay; my heart, and what would happen to her if something happened to me; something that could easily be prevented by me going home. I thought about Lonnie. I know we could never be a real couple, he'd made that clear that first day, but I definitely had feelings for him. I didn't know if it was an emotional love or a purely physical lust that would fill my need, but it involved my heart, of that I'm sure. And, for once, I thought about myself and what I wanted.

But what about what he wanted. Maybe he wants me to go. Maybe he's ready to go back to his normal life and not have to deal with the worry of having me here.

I looked over at him. I could only see his face thanks to the light on the front of the barn. It was almost as if we had a spotlight on us, the rest of the world a blackness so thick that if we stepped out of the light we would be sucked away.

He was staring straight ahead waiting for my answer.

"It would probably be best if I left, don't you think? Your life's been crazy since I got here."

"I don't mind a little crazy," he said. He looked over at me. "I've enjoyed ...some of it."

I smiled at that.

"Can I sleep on it?"

"Sure. C'mon."

He opened the car door and got out. I followed him over to the back porch where he sat down on one of the love seats. I remembered that he suggested we 'tone it down', so I sat on the love seat across from him. Still, the only light was from the barn. I could just make out his features. It was quite cozy.

"When the phone rang ya were sayin' somethin' about dealin' with it until me. What did ya mean?"

I was hoping he would forget, but I guess I had no choice but to finish.

"It just means that I'm not afraid of you, Lonnie. That's all."

"That's all? That pretty big, don't ya think?"

He really was listening to me earlier.

"I'm trying not to think about it."

"Why?" He asked.

"What good is it doing me? What good will it do me when I leave? It almost seems cruel that God would put you in my life, don't you think?"

"Maybe He did it just so ya can see what's possible."

 _It's not possible with you._

"You are wise beyond your years, do you know that?"

He came over and sat next to me. Maybe he didn't listen to me after all. Does he not know what he is doing to me?

"I really don't want to talk about this anymore Lonnie. I'm tired of crying and ...I'm just plain tired."

"I'm real sorry about all this."

"Lonnie, please don't ..."

"Who knows, if I had met ya back then ...maybe I'd be Cay's daddy."

 _What?_

I don't know if he was being serious or trying to be funny to get my mind off things, and I didn't mean to laugh so ridiculously loud, but it just came out that way.

He looked a little hurt and I had to make sure that he knew that I wasn't laughing at him.

"That is a very sweet thing to say, but you were probably fourteen when I got pregnant."

"What's your point?" He said, with a sneaky grin.

I laughed out loud through the tears.

* * *

After we finished eating, I cleaned the kitchen and he went into the living room and turned on the TV for the first time since I've been here.

We were definitely playing house.

I smiled when I heard the theme song for Hill Street Blues. What else would a cop watch?

When I finished I went in and grabbed a shower. My mind was a whirl of thoughts. I wanted some fun on this vacation and it looked like I would have to play a little dirty to get it. Apparently he's easy, so it shouldn't be too hard.

I had to laugh at myself a little ...at my thoughts. I never in a million years could have ever seen myself planning to seduce a man. But, this morning was torture. Let's see how much torture he can take before I break him.

When I came out, he was still stretched out on the couch watching TV. The eleven o'clock news was on and it was saying something about a local car show coming up.

I walked over to the back door. I pressed my face up to the window but I don't know what I was hoping to see. You can't see anything past that barn light. I did, however, see lightning in the distance.

When I pulled my face back from the window, I could clearly see his reflection in the glass. He was staring right at me.

 _This should be easy._

I was wearing a gray camisole, and his blue running shorts, and my band, always my band. But, no panties and no bra. My head was wrapped in a towel so I bent over to take it off and shook out my hair a bit to let it air dry. When I flipped my head up, I could see that he was still looking at me and he was adjusting himself.

I smiled.

 _Tone it down? You just try it mister._

I threw the towel over a kitchen chair, turned off the overhead light and walked up to him on the couch.

He looked me up and down and I saw that little linger on my breasts. Thanks to the air conditioner, my nipples were hard and they poked through this cotton perfectly.

His hand raised up and lightly rubbed my outer thigh. I left it there, maybe a little longer than I should have, because it was driving me crazy. But, I managed to follow through with my plan. I placed my hand on his and pressed it against my leg. I looked down at him longingly. It was taking everything in my power not to laugh. I'm no good at this.

Our eyes were locked and it was getting a little tense. I waited no longer.

"Lonnie?"

"Yea?"

"You're on my bed."

It took a second for what I said to register, and he jumped up off the couch.

"If you still want to watch TV, I can go into the back room and sleep," I offered.

He was clearly a little flustered. "No, no, ya stay out here where it's cool."

He was standing directly in front of me. He had the sweetest puppy dog eyes. His mouth was slightly open and he looked me up and down once more.

"You're bad. Do ya know that?" He said.

I'd say my plan was working perfectly.

"Goodnight," I said.

He went into his room and closed the door. I had a feeling I knew what he would be doing for the next half hour.

Mission accomplished.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thursday, August 6th**

Some thunder you hear, and some thunder you feel. Mississippi thunder puts its hands on your shoulders and shakes you 'til you wake up.

My eyes shot open to Lonnie standing over me. Apparently, I screamed. I don't remember it, but I believe it. The noise from the rain and thunder was deafening and the lightning was terrifying.

I curled up into a ball at the corner of the couch with my hands over my ears like a scared little kid. He sat down beside me.

"Ya okay?" He asked.

"Do I look okay?"

"Don't they have storms up there in Maryland?"

I just looked at him. "Smart ass man."

He chuckled a bit. "It's all right. It'll be ova soon."

A crack of thunder exploded. It shook the house on its foundation and shook me down to my bones. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in tight. I curled my body into him and buried my face in his neck. I was literally shaking.

Every time the lightning would strike, I braced myself, waiting for the thunder to follow, and he would hold me tighter. By the third explosion, I was practically sitting on his lap.

"I live in the middle house of a block of row homes in a huge city. We don't hear them and we definitely don't feel them like this."

"Yea, they do tend to rattle your bones some."

I was suddenly aware of how he was holding me, how his fingers were lightly rubbing my arm. I really was a little freaked out by the storm, but deep down, I wanted it to take its time.

We sat huddled together for a bit when the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. The house lit up with a blinding flash of light. There was a loud pop and everything went off; the lights, the fridge, and the air conditioners. There was complete silence, save for the storm.

"Figures," he said.

"How long do you think it'll be out?"

"Couple hours ...couple days."

I sighed softly. My hot breath on his neck caused movement in his boxers.

He softly squeezed my thigh.

Call it fate, mother nature, a freak storm, whatever ...sitting like this with him, in the dark, was better than any plan I could have ever imagined.

I nuzzled up to him a little closer and rested my head on his chest and began to lightly run my fingers through his chest hair.

"Hey," I said.

"Yea?"

"If you really want to tone it down, I'll stop."

He tilted my head back so his mouth could find mine, in the dark.

The storm raged outside and now there was one raging inside me.

I still had a choice of how I wanted this to play out, though. I could be playful, seductive, shy ...there were so many options. But as I thought about this situation as a whole, and what I needed from him, there was really only one way to proceed.

"Promise me something," I whispered.

"What?"

I ran my hand up the side of his face and grabbed a handful of his hair.

"You won't be gentle."

A guttural noise came from deep inside him as he pulled me fully onto his lap. I straddled him on my knees, and our mouths locked. He held me close and grabbed a handful of my hair as he pulled my mouth down on his, hard and forceful.

He held me tight as he lifted us both off the couch. My legs instinctively wrapped around him as he carried me in the dark, to his bed.

* * *

The room was nice and cool when I woke up.

I was in the bed alone, covered with a beautiful quilt.

I smiled to myself. As a lover, he was everything I knew he'd be, everything I needed and more. I closed my eyes and thought back to the events of last night and snuggled deeper under the quilt enjoying its warmth and his smell …and then I heard him.

I didn't know what warmed my heart more, waking up in his bed or hearing him in the kitchen making breakfast.

I put on one of his white tees and walked out to join him.

Be still my heart. He was cooking breakfast in his underwear. That warmed my heart, too.

There were eggs, bacon … and sausage, and fresh biscuits.

 _Somebody better marry this boy._

He was standing at the stove tending to the bacon.

"What's all this?" I asked, looking at all the food.

"I hope you're as hungry as I am," he said.

He saluted me with his glass of orange juice and took a drink.

I picked up a piece of bacon from the table and winked at him as I took a big crunchy bite.

"Mmmm, this is the second best thing I've had in my mouth today."

He started choking on his juice and turned around to the sink. I couldn't hold in the laughter as I walked over to pat his back.

"Seriously, though. What's the occasion? Do you always prepare a feast after you get laid?" I said, playfully.

"You're on a roll this mornin', ain't ya?

I wrapped my arms around him and he reciprocated.

"Let's just say I'm in a particularly good mood."

The splatter of grease on the stove pulled me away from his kiss. I started to head over to it when he instructed me to sit down and eat.

"I can get it," I offered.

"Not today," he insisted.

I sat at the table and watched as he put the remainder of the cooked bacon on the plate, turned off the fire, and came and sat at the head of the table. I didn't pick up anything, I just sat there. He opened up a biscuit to put jelly on it and realized I wasn't moving.

"Somethin' wrong?" He asked.

"Are you going to tell me what this is all about?"

He sat the biscuit and the knife down and opened his arms wide.

"Happy birthday."

I smiled for about three seconds.

 _Wait, what?_

"How did you know it's my birthday?"

He got that—oh shit, I'm busted—look on his face.

"Did you go into my wallet?"

"No!"

I crossed my arms and waited.

"Okay, okay. Background check."

"You did a background check on me?!"

He went back to putting the jelly on his biscuit like nothing was wrong.

"Calm down. It's standard police procedure. We check out everyone that comes in, especially outsiders."

I huffed a bit but understood.

"Go on, eat," he said, as he took a huge bite of biscuit.

I made myself a plate but the curiosity was too much.

"What's all in a background check?"

He sat up a little straighter.

"A routine background check contains basic information such as your name, address, birthday and other vital information. It may also contain prior criminal records, complaints made by you against others, complaints made about you by others, and any and all charges that have ever been filed against you.

"Listen to you sounding all official."

"The chief made us memorize it just like that, so yeah, I guess that makes it official."

I nodded.

"So ...you know everything about me?" I asked.

"No, not everything. There is one thing I'm curious about."

I prepared myself for questions about the things on that report. I knew he would ask about them. I'd probably tell him anything he wanted to know after last night. I was ready to bare my soul to him.

"Ask away."

He looked at me with a mouthful of food and asked, "What's a row home?"

* * *

He was lounging on the couch when I came out from my shower. He had managed to put on a pair of blue running shorts, but remained shirtless and shoeless, my favorite combination. I was still wearing his tee.

He was reading one of the books from the coffee table.

 _Damn. I'd like a picture of that to take home._

"I was beginning to think those were just for show," I said, as I sat on the opposite end of the couch.

He closed the book and sat it on his lap.

"I do enjoy a good book every once in a while," he said. "It helps pass the time …After momma died, Sweet brought over a bag of crime novels. Been readin' ever since."

 _So lonely._

"So, what would ya like to do for your birthday?" He asked.

"Breakfast was perfect. Thank you."

"Naw, we need to do somethin' for the big 3-0."

 _Yes, we do._

I stretched my legs out across the couch just touching his thigh.

"Well, we could figure out something to do to pass the time, now," I said.

He tossed the book onto the table and grabbed my feet. He gently pulled me towards him, 'til my back was flat on the couch and my legs were bent at the knee. He kissed each knee and then gently forced them apart and started kissing and nibbling up my thigh. He lifted one leg up to rest on the back of the couch and moved the other one to hang onto the floor. He was mesmerized at the smoothness of the skin between my legs and I was mesmerized at the feeling of his open mouth on me.

The man was gifted.

As I ran my hands through his hair, I looked down to the top of his head and all I kept thinking was, Happy Birthday, Cath.

* * *

The clock on his dresser said 2:35. We had been laying here for two hours. We talked, made love, and talked some more.

He was on his back and I was lying in his arms. This was a new kind of bliss, the kind I could get used to.

I was gently running my fingers through the patch of hair below his navel and he was running his fingers up and down my arm.

I looked up to his face. His eyes were closed, and while I would love to know what he was thinking, I was afraid of his thoughts, too.

He opened one eye and peeked down at me.

"What?" He asked.

I smiled.

"Nothing. I was just thinking …You know, I didn't know you a week ago, and here I am in your bed. I'm trying to decide if that makes me a slut or very lucky."

"I could wonder the same thing about myself, ya know?"

"Well, we already knew you were a slut."

He flipped me on my back and climbed on top of me pinning my hands above my head.

That smile was to die for!

"You're a very bold woman, ya know that?"

"Well, I do try."

Our smiles faded but our eyes held each other. He brought his lips down and kissed me so softly, so damned perfectly. I guess you could say we 'had a moment.'

I was fighting every natural instinct in my body to fall in love. It was time for a reality check, so I thought back to our first conversation on the glider, to his words about kids.

 _"I reckon I'd like a few of my own youngin's, someday. Just not now."_

That's all it took to make me see how foolish I was being. I could feel the tears just starting, so I excused myself to the bathroom.

This was harder than I thought it would be.

* * *

After my next shower, I found Lonnie in the front yard picking up branches. The storm did a number on his trees. I ran back to grab my tennis shoes so I could help.

Afterwards, we sat on the porch and looked out at our work. It was still a mess, but we got the bigger branches piled off to the side.

"I'll finish this another day. I'm takin' ya out to dinner tonight. Parker and Penny are meetin' us there," he said.

"Can we just do dinner here? You know I didn't bring anything to wear to a restaurant."

"Come on," he said.

I followed him in to the house. There was a door further down along the wall from the piano, across from the kitchen. I never paid it any mind.

What used to be a formal dining room, was now storage. It was filled with boxes of clothes and the like; his mother's things.

"I don't know if there's anything ya can use, but feel free to look. Take what ya want."

"Are you sure?"

"Yea. I'm jumpin' in the shower."

"Okay."

I am no stranger to thrift stores, but this felt weird to me, considering I knew he was still hurting over losing her. But, I did look through a few boxes. Her shoes would never fit me, but I did find a few things that were useable and a few things that were actually cute, one of them being a sleeveless denim dress that would be perfect for tonight.

I threw a load of clothes in the washer and went back into the room.

I stumbled on a box of photo albums and my curiosity won out. I was a little puzzled at what I found. There were a few pictures of his mom pregnant, and quite a few pictures of him with his mom and dad, but none of them were baby pictures. His pictures started from about a year on up.

I heard him in the kitchen so I closed the box up and went out to him.

He was wearing a tan polo, tight jeans, and cowboy boots.

Damn.

"You must have been an ugly baby," I said, jokingly.

"What?"

"I didn't find one baby picture of you."

He hesitated for a second before responding. "I was adopted."

"But …there were pictures of your mom pregnant."

"Not with me. She was pregnant, and lost the baby. There were complications and they couldn't get pregnant again, so, here I am."

I walked over to the picture of his dad hanging in the living room.

"Lonnie, you favor this man. I see it."

"Yea, lots of people did. Momma always said it was divine intervention."

"Well, It's a good thing your dad didn't feel the same way you do."

I don't know why I can't keep my big mouth shut.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't you remember what you said to me that day on the porch when we were waiting for Francie? You said you couldn't love another man's child. I'm just glad your dad didn't feel that way, that's all."

"That was just talk, Cath. Why are ya still thinkin' about that?"

 _Time to change the subject._

"Listen, I, uh, found a few things I can use. Are you sure you're okay with me wearing them?" I asked.

"Yea. Be ready in about an hour."

"Okay. They're in the washer. I'll hang them up when I get out of the shower. They should be dried in time for dinner."

As I started to walk down the hall, the phone rang. I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Happy birthday, Mom!"

"Aww, thank you, Cay! How's everything in Mickey land?"

I slid my body down the side of the wall and sat there in the middle of the hallway and talked to her while he watched.

About ten minutes into our chat, Lonnie went out back. I had a feeling I knew what he was doing so I stood up to look out the back window and I was right, he was hanging out the laundry.

 _I gotta find somebody to marry this boy._

* * *

The dress fit just about perfectly. It was collared and sleeveless and ended just passed my knee, with buttons running from the bottom all the way up to the neck. I had a white camisole on under it so I could leave a few of the top buttons undone. I did like the way it accentuated my girls, but I wasn't too comfortable with showing cleavage. My sister's hand me down hippie ring-toe shoes were the perfect touch. I never go anywhere without them.

I kept my make-up down to just mascara and liner, because anything else would have just melted off my face. The wine colored lipstick completely hid the small cut on my lip. It was barely noticeable now, anyway. And since my hair has been a wild mess since I been here, I thought I'd stay cool tonight and do a long loose French-braid.

As I was finishing up the end of the braid I heard a knock on the front door. I looked out his bedroom window and saw a squad car out front. A few minutes later, Lonnie came in to get me.

He came into the room and just stood there staring.

 _Uh oh. Too soon._

"I'll find something else to wear," I said.

"No. You are wearing that dress."

He came closer to me.

"You look ...beautiful," he said.

"Really?"

"Really really."

I melted right there. No girl should ever go a lifetime without hearing, 'really really.'"

He kissed me and told me that Sweet and Everett were out in the living room waiting to talk to me.

"It's about Nick, isn't it?"

"Just come on out and hear what they have to say."

"Five minutes."

When I went out they were all standing in the kitchen drinking iced tea.

They were both generous with their compliments, but as I looked at Lonnie, I couldn't help but to giggle a bit.

His eyes had a questioning look.

I nodded towards Sweet and Everett. "I would seriously question their friendship."

"Why?" He asked.

"Because they've probably been standing here the whole time with a straight face, talking to you with lipstick on your lips."

He rubbed his fingers across his mouth while they guys rolled with laughter.

"I thought it suited him," Everett said, trying to keep a straight face.

"Ha ha. You two are real comedians."

"So, what did you guys need to tell me?" All laughter stopped.

Sweet spoke up. "Well, Nick is definitely hanging around town. I've heard his name a few times today. Nothing about any plans he has, but he is here in Sparta."

"Okay. I still don't think he means to hurt me, but thanks for letting me know."

Everett looked at me and pointed to Lonnie. "You stay close to him, ya hear?"

I smiled. "That is my plan."

We said our goodbyes and Lonnie walked them to the door. When he came back into the kitchen I was staring out the backdoor window. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. Feeling the strength in his arms made me feel safe. I felt whole again, or at least a little less broken.

"Ya ready?" he asked.

I turned around to face him.

"Wouldn't it be better for you if I left?"

Without hesitation he answered. "No."

* * *

Parker and Penny were already seated at the table when we got to the restaurant. Lonnie apologized for us being late and explained to them about what was going on with Nick being back in Sparta. Penny was horrified.

"Sweetie, why are ya still here?"

I was done talking about Nick.

"Personally, I think everyone is overreacting!"

Just then, the waitress came over to take our drink order. She clearly knew Lonnie. I wondered how well.

"Lonnie Jamison, it's been a minute. How are ya sweetie?"

He leaned over to me and asked me what I wanted to drink and I told him. He looked back at the waitress. "I'm good, thanks. Two iced teas, please." She glared at me and wrote down the order and walked away.

I looked over at him and used the fakest country accent I could. "Well, I do declare, Lonnie Jamison, darlin', it's been a minute."

He blushed a bit. "All right, all right, are ya done?"

I promised him I was.

Dinner itself was …different. Lonnie ordered for me and when I couldn't bring myself to eat a crawdad, he laughed at me and ordered me seafood gumbo instead. Parker called me citified, but I just couldn't eat it.

After dinner, Lonnie excused himself to the restroom and Penny came over and sat in his seat to talk.

"Well, girl, tell me about Jackson!"

"We never made it. That whole Winnie thing kind of changed things up a bit."

"Cath, I am so sorry about that. I cannot believe she did such a thing. You're still comin' to the pond Saturday, I hope."

"Will she be there?"

"I don't know. She might."

"I'll think about it."

"Remember, I'm here if ya wanna talk …ya know," she said, as she stood up for Lonnie.

She glanced at him and then back at me.

I smiled at her. I really did like her.

He was only back at his seat for a fast minute when I saw it out of the corner of my eye.

 _Oh my God._

"Lonnie, what did you do!"

That same waitress came walking over to me carrying a plate with a small cake on it with a lit candle, and she did not look the least be cheerful.

I looked over at him. He was so happy with himself. I didn't know if I wanted to kill him or kiss him.

When she sat the cake at the table, they all sang happy birthday. I know I must have turned ten shades of red.

I admit, it was all very sweet, but Lonnie was the icing on the cake, because he leaned over, wished me happy birthday, and kissed me for all the world to see.

Well, all of his world.

* * *

As we walked through the parking lot, Parker checked his watch.

"Well, dang, it's only just after eight o'clock. Let's go do somethin'."

 _Thank you Parker!_

"What do you guys do for fun?" I asked.

"Well," he said, "we can catch a movie or go bowlin', or dancin'."

Penny suddenly became a squealing sixteen-year-old girl.

"Let's go dancin'!"

"Sounds good to me!" I said.

I caught a glimpse of the look that Lonnie shot at Parker. It told me that he was not happy with the idea, so I decided to change my mind and come to his rescue.

"On second thought, maybe we should call it a night," I said.

Penny was determined. "But Cath, it's your birthday!"

"I know, but it's been a long day, with the storm last night and cleaning up the yard."

 _And other things._

Lonnie looked at me and surprised us all. "Okay, now, I don't dance, but we can go have a drink and listen to some music."

"Are you asking me out on a date, Lonnie Jamison?" I asked, playfully.

"Yes, I am."

 _Be still heart, be still._

I think Parker was more shocked than the rest of us. He got the biggest grin on his face. "Well, Lonnie, be prepared to have a ball! And ladies, Thursday night is ladies' night at the Bolero, so drinks will be on me."

Penny was ecstatic and I have to admit, I was too.

On the quick ride over to the bar, I asked Lonnie what it was like, only to find out that he had never been there before.

"Parker's tried to get me in there a few times, but it's not my thing."

"Why'd you change your mind?" I asked.

He took my hand in his.

* * *

As we were walking up to the bar door the first thing I noticed was the God awful country music. I didn't have the heart to tell them that it wasn't my thing, so I kept it to myself and just enjoyed their company. I was just happy to be there.

The place was packed, and Parker wasn't kidding, it really was ladies' night. There were ten women for every one man and the one man that was getting most of the looks, was Lonnie. There was a chorus of 'Hi Lonnie's' that was almost comical. I swear it was like he was a celebrity. I guess being good-looking, a cop, and an eligible bachelor in Sparta, Mississippi, is kind of the same thing.

Parker and Penny disappeared into the crowd. I tried to follow Lonnie to the bar, but got lost in the shuffle of people. I made my way next to a wall and waited, hoping one of them would find me there. There was a wooden bumper going around the bottom edge of the wall and I found a spot to climb up onto so I could look for them.

It took a few minutes, but I spotted them at the edge of the dance floor. They were obviously looking for me but it was so crowded and so loud, they wouldn't have seen me even if I was on fire.

I was just about to step down to go over to them, when a tiny little Barbie doll jumped out of nowhere and wrapped her arms around Lonnie's waist. She was petite and pretty …and she had a tight grip on him.

Sometimes, it only takes one person to bring you back to reality, and for me, she was that person. I looked down at my dress, and while it was actually very fitting for the bar, I felt foolish in it now. I positively looked like a man compared to her. What was I thinking?

I had no stake in him at all, but the hollow pit in my stomach made me feel otherwise.

He was talking to her and trying to get her to release her grip, but she wasn't budging.

Penny saw me first and started over. Lonnie's eyes followed her until they spotted me. He looked a little helpless but I didn't care, my excitement for the night was gone and I hoped he saw it in my face. I went from being on a date, to just being there.

Penny read me like a book. She knew exactly how I was feeling. She got right up to my ear and still had to scream for me to hear her. "Pay her no mind. She's drunk."

"It's okay."

 _It really wasn't._

"Don't you let it ruin your fun, girl."

"Too late."

"Oh, don't say that darlin', the night is still young and there are lots of men here. Do ya hear me?"

She doesn't know my issues, so I just nodded.

She took my hand and led me through the crowd to a tall table where Parker was standing. There were people they knew at the table and we joined them. We completely bypassed Lonnie.

I recognized a few of the officers that came by the barbecue and said my hellos to them, and Parker introduced me to the others.

The DJ took a break and put on some background music much lower than the dance songs, so we could just about hear each other talk.

One of the guys came up to me and introduced himself. "You ain't from around here, are ya?"

"No. Just visiting."

"I figured. I'd remember you," he said.

My cheeks felt warm, but that emptiness in my gut wasn't going away.

He held out his hand and I took it. "I'm Frank, and you are … ?"

"Cath. Nice to meet you."

"Very nice to meet ya, Cath. Can I buy ya a drink?"

"Thanks, but—"

"Move it along Francis, I've got the lady covered," Lonnie said, as he stepped between us.

He handed me a beer and I sat it on the table.

"Can I finish my sentence?" I asked.

"Yea, Jamison, let the lady finish."

Lonnie balled his fists, but he didn't move.

"Thank you for the offer Frank, but I'm not drinking tonight," I said.

He nodded, looked at Lonnie and then back at me. "Well, if ya need a dance partner, I'll be right over there."

Lonnie took a step towards him and I grabbed his arm.

"What is your problem!" I asked.

"Ya don't go up to another guy's girl and offer her a drink ...ever. It's like, the guy code or somethin'."

I stood on my tiptoes to get closer so only he could hear me. I had to speak my mind, but I didn't want to embarrass him .

"I'm not your girl, Lonnie … "

He looked hard at me. My insides were sinking as the next words were coming out of my mouth.

"...and you are not my guy. So, if you want to go with your lady friend, it's okay. I can get a ride—"

"No! Cath, I'm sorry about that. I don't—""

Barbie was not done with him yet, because she was back.

Standing next to her made me feel like my scars were three feet long and covering my body. I pulled my collar together to cover myself up and crossed my arms in front of me.

 _I wish I was invisible._

Lonnie noticed. He took me by the arm. "C'mon, we're leavin'."

"I'm not leaving."

She stepped between us and tried to pull his hand off me. "I don't care where you go, but he is stayin' here with me," she said.

I could tell she was drunk, so I stayed calm, but I made myself known and those in earshot turned to watch.

I put my face right up to hers.

"Take your hands off me. You put your hands on him, that's between you and him, but you will take your fucking hands off me, now!"

The DJ was back at the mic and the crowd was getting loud again.

She stepped back, but immediately started running her mouth about how she was his girlfriend and who the hell was I to be here with him and he would never come here with her and blah, blah, blah.

An ex-girlfriend, I should have known.

Penny came over and pulled me around the table to where her and Parker were standing. I looked at Lonnie as we walked past. "Enjoy your evening," I said.

He looked so hurt. I know he had no control over what she did, but I had to be mad at somebody and it had to be him. It's the girl code.

I watched as he led her towards the bar. My stomach felt hollow. I did a pretty good job of holding back the tears, and I decided that I was going to try to have fun without him, even though I wanted to crawl in a hole.

I watched Penny and Parker dancing up a storm to some country line dance. They looked like they were having a ball and I was having some fun just watching them. The song ended, and as they were heading back to the table the DJ started playing an old pop song that I loved. I grabbed Penny's hand and pulled her back onto the floor with me and danced to 'Play That Funky Music.' I was finally starting to enjoy myself.

As I was walking off the dance floor, a slow song started. It was some country love song that I didn't know. Parker didn't waste any time grabbing Penny and getting cozy on the dance floor. Frank caught me before I reached the table and asked me to dance. My heart couldn't handle any love song now.

"Thank you, but I'm going to sit this one out," I said.

"Maybe the next one?"

"Maybe."

He smiled and walked me back to the table. Lonnie was standing there drinking a beer watching us. He looked a little edgy, but he didn't say anything. What could he say?

I was sweaty and thirsty so I got under the table to get my purse. I headed towards the bar and Lonnie touched my arm.

"Can I walk with ya?" he asked.

"Sure."

Thankfully, it wasn't as loud near the bar.

"So, where's your friend?" I asked.

"I called for a squad to come pick her up and take her home. I waited with her 'til they got here."

The bartender came over. I ordered a coke and pointed to Lonnie's bottle. Lonnie reached in his back pocket for his wallet and I told him that this one was on me.

"No, this is your night remember, I've got this."

"It stopped being my night a while ago."

"I'm real sorry." He looked sad, but he knew what I meant and he didn't dispute it.

"Hi Lonnie."

I looked at the little brunette as she walked by and then looked at him.

I paid for the drinks and headed back over to the table. He followed.

Over the next two hours, they played a few good songs mixed in with the country stuff. Penny realized that country wasn't my thing and pulled me onto the floor when the pop songs came on. Most of the time though, Lonnie and I just watched and talked some. It was awkward when we were by ourselves at the table. I was ready to go.

The DJ was taking his last break of the night. We were all standing around the table talking and Lonnie excused himself to go to the bathroom. When he came back I noticed that he looked really nervous, which made me nervous. Nick automatically popped in my head and I found myself looking around the bar. Maybe I was a little more afraid than I thought. Parker noticed too, and pulled him off to the side to talk to him.

When Parker walked behind me to head back to Penny, I stopped him. "Everything okay? I asked.

"Yes ma'am. Nothin' to worry about. Just guy stuff."

A few minutes passed and the DJ got back on his mic and everything became crystal clear.

"Listen up, People! The Bolero has a birthday girl in the house!"

The crowd started cheering and clapping.

 _Oh My God! No!_

I looked over at him and literally wanted to strangle him.

"Lonnie! What did you do!?"

He didn't look smug like he did at the restaurant, he looked terrified. And as the DJ spoke again, I realized why.

"We have a special request for the birthday girl, from a guy, not HER guy, just A guy—I'm not making this up people, I'm reading it from a card—and this guy would like her to dance with him."

People were clapping and awing and I was standing there with my hands covering my wide open mouth.

I noticed that Penny's hands were over her mouth, too, but Parker was smiling the biggest, proudest smile I have ever seen. Apparently, this was a big deal.

When the song came on and I realized what song it was, my eyes started tearing up.

He held out his hand and I took it. My legs were shaking almost as much as his, but we made it to the floor. He put his arms around my waist, pulled me close, and danced with me.

With every female eye watching, Lonnie Jamison, with his tan polo, tight jeans, and cowboy boots, danced his very first dance …with me.

 _"I must have been through about a million girls_  
 _I'd love 'em, and I'd leave 'em alone_  
 _I didn't care how much they cried, no sir_  
 _Their tears left me cold as a stone_  
 _But then I fooled around and fell in love_  
 _I fooled around and fell in love_  
 _Since I met you, baby_  
 _I fooled around and fell in love…."_

Where's Barbie at when you want her?

* * *

When we pulled up to the house, he jumped out and headed for the bathroom. I'm sure this time, he really needed it.

I stood in the yard and took a deep breath. It was a beautiful clear night and I wanted to remember everything about it.

It was another emotional roller coaster for me, but it ended in the most perfect way …or did it?

"Cath, ya out here?"

"I'm back here."

There was no moon out which made it pitch black out here behind the barn. I could be standing right in front of him and he would never know it.

I could hear his heavy, lanky steps now and I knew he was near.

"Come find me, Lover," I said.

He did. His hands made their way around to my bare bottom.

"Mmm, girl, what are ya doin'?"

He kissed me hard.

His mouth made its way from my neck, down to my breasts and then he must have realized that my band was off, because he got down on his knees in front of me. He laid his open hands on my stomach and lightly rubbed. I was giving him all of me.

You could just barely feel the scars, but not even the light of a billion stars showed my imperfections.

I reached down and pulled his shirt off. His back and neck were slick with sweat.

 _Do I follow my head or my heart?_

"Hey," I said.

He stood up. I wished I could see his face, his lips, that mole that makes my knees week. He kissed me. The boy loved to kiss. Thank God the boy loved to kiss!

"Yea?"

"I want to say something to you. You don't have to respond or say anything at all, it's just something I need to say to you."

He was still. His hands were holding me just above my elbows and his cheek was against mine. I could feel his breath in my ear and it was making me slightly dizzy.

 _Okay heart, you win._

"I love you. I know it's crazy, but I love you …just as sure as you're standing in front of me. I can't see you, but I know you're here …because I feel you."

I let out a shaky breath and kissed his neck. "Lonnie, I love you."

He wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me for the longest time.

"Just remember, I said it first," he said.

"You most certainly did not."

He started swaying our bodies back and forth as he held me. "Woman, weren't ya listening to the song?"

My heart was ready to burst. I laid my head on his shoulder as we danced in the dark.

"Yes, I heard every word."

"I meant every word," he said. His deep voice practically oozed a southern sexiness that make me all kinds of crazy.

"Oh yea? Show me," I whispered.

He unbuckled his jeans, and as he pushed them down over his waist, I slid my hands around to cup his ass. It was fine, round, and firm and it filled out his jeans so damn perfectly.

Just thinking about him in his jeans and boots did something to me.

"Hey cowboy?"

"Yes ma'am?

"Will you do me a favor?"

"Sure."

"Keep your boots on while you fuck me."

"Oh, yes ma'am."

Hey laid me down on the grass right next to the old log and climbed in between my legs, with his jeans down at his knees.

My first intentions of a sexual relationship with Lonnie were only supposed to be physical, just sex. But out here, In the heat of the night, on this Mississippi grass, I loved him, and he loved me.

I'll worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.


	9. Chapter 9

**Friday, August 7th**

It was a little after nine when I woke up to an empty bed and a quiet house. It was by far, the best sleep I've had in a very long time. God bless that boy and his stamina.

I could probably lay here and snuggle for another hour, but quite frankly, I wanted to be where he was—but where was he?

After searching the house and not finding him, Nick popped into my head. They all did a really good job of freaking me out about him and making me paranoid. I was getting a little worried as I headed out behind the barn to look for Lonnie, and when he wasn't there, I started to panic. I turned to run back to the house, when I spotted him way out in the yard, almost at the edge of the field. It looked like he was working on the engine of a riding mower. It was then that I realized that the grass I was standing on had recently been cut. I wiggled my toes and took a deep breath. I was standing on a little slice of heaven.

I went back inside, slipped my sneakers on, poured a glass of iced tea, and headed out to him.

The hood was up and he was bent over, working on the engine. I took a second to appreciate the view.

 _Damn._

I climbed up and gently sat in the seat.

"Don't you ever sleep in?" I asked.

He looked up.

"Mornin'," he nodded to me.

I melted a little on the inside because that nod took me back to the very first time I saw him peeking around the corner of Francie's kitchen. I remember melting then, too.

"Morning to you," I nodded back.

"The yard needed tendin' to. I try to do it before the heat of the day starts ... less sweaty."

"When are you not sweaty?" I asked playfully.

"December," he said with almost a straight face.

My laughter made him smile, and that smile gets me every time.

"Here, thought you might be thirsty."

"Thank you," he said, nodding appreciatively.

He took a big drink and I took another deep breath.

"My favorite smell of all time," I said.

"What's that?"

"Fresh cut grass. It's a rare treat when I get to smell it. Sometimes, I go weeks without even seeing it."

"Really?" he asked with a look of mild shock.

"Yep. I live in the heart of the city, nothing but concrete as far as the eye can see."

He looked around the yard. "I can't even imagine that."

I looked around the yard too, to the field behind it, and the woods beyond.

"Yea, well …it's all I've ever known. You, on the other hand, are a very lucky man. This is really beautiful."

There were things to do at the house, so I slowly climbed off the mower to head back.

"What time's Penny comin' to pick ya up?" he asked.

"One o'clock, why? You're not gonna try to talk me outta going again, are you?"

He ignored my question and checked his watch. "Go for a ride with me."

"On that thing?"

He closed the hood, put his tools in the back compartment, and climbed on. When he got comfy, he guzzled down the rest of the tea, and patted his lap.

"C'mon, Hop on up here."

"How long will it take?"

"Right quick. Just somethin' I wanna show ya, back yonder," he said, nodding towards the woods.

I put the empty glass in with the tools, climbed up, and as gently as I could, sat side saddle on his lap.

"Ya okay?" he asked. "Movin' kinda slow, there."

"Well, if you must know, I'm a little sore."

"Is that right?"

I know I was blushing because my face was on fire.

He, on the other hand, was positively smug. I couldn't physically see it, but right now, he was patting himself on the back.

I was slightly embarrassed so I buried my face into his shoulder.

He chuckled a bit, but then became still and quiet. I looked up and found him staring straight ahead. I glanced to where he was looking and saw nothing.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Is he outta your head?"

I was so touched that he even asked that, and I wish I could have told him yes, but I had to tell him the truth.

"No."

He looked at me with concern.

"But, you're in there now, too, so his space is a lot smaller."

His face softened at my words. He kissed me, started the engine, and off we went.

Right now, at this moment in time, this almost felt like home.

* * *

The old John Deere was loud, so there was no talking between us. I just held tight and enjoyed the ride.

Lonnie looked more country right now than he has the whole time I've been here. From his old baseball cap, Aerosmith shirt with no sleeves, greasy hands and old work boots, to the way he smelled like musk, sweat and grass. Damn, he was cute.

 _I hope you don't mind waiting, Penny._

As we made it along the path, I realized that what I thought to be a small patch of woods, turned out to be more like a forest; thick with tall, old trees, lush bushes and beautiful, flowering plants in spots along the way.

We got a good ways in, when we came up to several big branches blocking us, so we had to stop and make rest of the way on foot. As soon as Lonnie cut the engine, I could hear running water.

I followed him off the path, deeper into the woods, where we came upon a small creek, complete with little rocky waterfalls. It was absolutely beautiful; postcard beautiful. I walked across some of the bigger, flatter rocks, to the slightly deeper water, to dip my feet in.

 _I wonder how many lucky Sparta girls got this tour._

I turned back around and was surprised to find Lonnie right behind me, barefoot, pant legs rolled up, standing in the shin deep water.

"Is the water always ice cold?" I asked.

"Yep. My daddy used to say "Jesus keeps the creek just the right amount a' cold to keep your beer perfect. Praise the Lord!""

I laughed as I grabbed his arms for support. I leaned back and looked straight up into the tall trees.

"Lonnie, this is …I can't even tell you how amazing this is! To have this practically in your backyard!"

"This is my backyard," he said matter-of-factly.

That surprised me. "Really?"

"Yep, but this ain't what I wanted to show ya. C'mon."

He took my hand and led me through a shallower part of the creek, to the other side, and a little deeper into the woods.

It was beautiful in here and I was really enjoying the walk, until I saw the carving on the tree.

As we got closer, I could see that It was a heart, with the initials D. J. and K. J. inside it, along with a smaller heart carved in the center.

Lonnie removed his cap.

My own heart got a little heavier.

"Your parents?" I asked, knowing all too well, it was.

He nodded, not taking his eyes off it.

It just hit me, and hit me hard …he really is all alone in the world. The only family he ever knew is gone. My heart ached for him so bad. I couldn't imagine being so young and so alone.

I lightly squeezed his hand and he looked down at me.

"Why'd you bring me here?" I asked.

"No real reason. Ain't never brought nobody back here before. Just somethin' I wanted to show ya."

I put my arms around his waist and held him as we both looked at the heart. "You wanted me to meet your parents."

He pulled me in closer.

"Somethin' like that," he said.

I was happy just to be there for him, but after a few minutes, I decided to try and lighten his mood. I walked up and placed my hands on the heart and traced the letters.

"Okay, let me guess; D is for …David?"

He smiled. "Nope."

"Donald?"

"Nope."

I had an aha moment and remembered his high school diploma that was hanging in the living room. He was adopted, but I had a gut feeling.

"Daniel," I said with assurance.

His eyebrows raised a bit.

I was right.

"Did they give you the name after the adoption?"

They raised a little bit more. "How'd ya know it was my name?"

"I saw your diploma on the wall."

"Ah. Well, it was gonna be my first name, but momma said I was used to Lonnie, so she left it alone. They changed my middle name as soon as the adoption was final."

"I'm glad she left it alone. I like Lonnie," I said.

A little blush mixed in with his smile.

"Ya might find that one a little easier," he said, pointing to the tree.

I lightly traced the letter K.

I wondered how this one could be easier, and only one thing came to mind.

"Kathy?"

He shook his head.

I thought for a minute and decided to give up. "I have no clue."

"Kay," he said.

I did a double take. "Really?"

He nodded and smiled like he had just let me in on some huge secret.

I rubbed the letter again.

"You have your own Kay," I said through watery eyes.

He came up and held me from behind.

"I think she woulda liked ya, my momma."

"Think so?"

"Well, she might a thought ya a jezebel at first, but once—"

I busted out laughing and turned to face him.

"A what!?"

"Don't ya know—"

"I know what a jezebel is, Lonnie." My laughing stopped and I took a step back. "Wait, is that what you think?" I asked.

"Me? Naw! It was just a word momma used. She was old fashioned, is all. You're older, and ya had a child—"

"—out of wedlock, right!"

I knew that he would never care for someone with a child, and I accepted that because, new emotions aside, this was just sex, but I never expected him to insult me, and that's exactly what this felt like.

"Now you hold on, I never meant—" he started.

My motherly defenses kicked on and something in me snapped.

"Bullshit! I'm the jezebel because I have a child, when you probably had your dick in half the girls in that bar last night, including me! You know, they got a word for that too!"

He looked like I slapped his face.

I turned and started to walk away when his voice boomed in anger. It seems that he was feeling defensive, too.

"You stop right there!"

I stopped, but did not turn around and that only ticked him off more.

"Ya ain't no saint! and ya ain't no virgin! and ya _do_ have a child! We _both_ have a past, Cath, ya said so, yourself! Now, you listen …I nev—"

I turned around.

"No! You listen! My past _happened_ to me, Lonnie! Yes, I had a child without a husband …do you think that was by choice? Didn't you listen to anything I told you! Why would you call me that! "

I was doing a good job of keeping the tears from falling, but they were right there, ready and wanting to fall.

He just stared at me.

"Don't compare what _happened_ to me, to what you _chose_ to do for kicks," I added.

That got my point across. He looked ashamed.

My tears began to fall freely now.

"I'm sorry," he said, "…but …I didn't mean it …I swear, It—"

"I don't care what you meant …only what you said."

I turned and left him standing there and started the long walk back to the house. It gave me plenty of time to mull things over and try to find reality again, if I could. I was worried that I was too far gone. I was a wreck, but it was all my fault; all of it. I wanted him in a way that I had never wanted another man and I didn't even think about the emotions of it all.

Why did I think I could handle this?

I know why.

I let myself get carried away, for sex.

I felt my own shame.

The walk back helped me clear my head a bit. My heart was another matter. I didn't know what to do.

As I got closer to the house, I could see someone standing by Lonnie's car. As I got even closer, I could see it was the Barbie doll from last night.

 _Just fucking great._

This week would have been so much easier if I had just been afraid of him.

* * *

A little over an hour passed and I could finally hear the mower out back. I left Barbie sitting on the loveseat and walked into the kitchen. I watched Lonnie from the window over the sink as he unloaded the tools and equipment into the barn, and a few minutes later, headed for the house. He was red from the sun and soaked with sweat, and I thought he was beautiful. I hated that I loved him.

 _There's my reality._

When he came through the door, he headed over towards me with the dirty glass.

"You have a visi—" I started.

"Hi Lonnie."

He turned to see her standing halfway between the living room and kitchen.

I will say, she was very pretty; the kind of pretty that doesn't take work. She was meticulous in her appearance too, and I'd bet she's never worn her hair up in a messy bun a day in her life.

"Oh, hey Kathleen," he said.

He looked over at me like a deer caught in the headlights. I turned away, hoping to keep my feelings hidden.

"Can I speak to ya …in private?" she asked him.

As mixed up as my head was, I still felt sad at how alone he was, and I realized that this could possibly be a good thing for him. But even after what happened earlier, it was impossible not to feel like a jealous girlfriend.

I tried to reason with myself.

 _You're leaving in three days Cath._

 _She can make him happy._

 _She can give him what you can't._

It was no use. I was jealous.

"I've got your lunch ready," I said to him, as I walked to the fridge, keeping my eyes away from his. "You two can have the table."

She didn't waste any time taking a seat.

"I need to wash up first," he said, as he headed for the hallway.

A few minutes passed when he called out, "Hey Babe, where's the towel?"

 _Babe?_

I excused myself to the bathroom.

"Babe? You mean me or her?" I whispered with half a smirk.

He was not amused. He pulled me in and closed the door.

There was an anxiousness about him. "What's she doin' here?" he asked.

"Well, it seems she wants to apologize to you for last night."

"Did she?"

"Not to me, no. We talked a bit, but I'm not the reason she's here."

"Aw, hell," he said, as he pulled his shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor behind him.

Damn my eyes.

I resisted the urge to pick up his shirt and put it in the hamper almost as hard as I resisted the urge to touch him.

"Is it really that bad that she's here? She's cute. Could be—"

"Stop! Dammit, woman, what is wrong with ya! Not twelve hours ago ya told me ya loved me …and now you're tryin' to fix me up! Ya ain't normal!"

"Yesterday was just a kick, Lonnie. You know it, and I know it. Let's just leave it at that, okay?"

"Man, I really hate it when ya say it like that. Kick must be your new favorite word."

"And just so you know, what I said last night ...I was out of my head …all this fucking fresh air. I assure you, I didn't mean it."

I wondered if he could tell that I was lying. The look on his face only told me that I hurt his feelings.

"Yeah, well, it don't matter what ya meant, only what ya said."

What a jerk, using my own words against me.

I turned for the door and he grabbed my arm. I was expecting an apology, but instead I got an order.

"Ya stay with Penny at all times and if ya change your plans in any way, ya call me. Ya hear me? I am still respons—"

" _Yes. Sir_."

I grabbed the towel off the hook and threw it at him.

"Your towel … _babe_."

As I walked past the kitchen on my way to the front door, I said goodbye to Kathleen.

"You're leavin'?" she asked. The look on her face was a mixture of surprise and pure joy.

"Yep. He's all yours."

I just made her day, and myself sick.

As much as she made me feel like a toad, though, I really didn't hate her.

She was pretty, independent, and intelligent. I might just be looking at the future Mrs. Lonnie Jamison.

* * *

When I got in the car, Penny was waiting for the dirt.

"Is that Kathleen Whearty's car?"

"Yep."

"Ya wanna pass on today?" she asked sympathetically.

My heart was screaming yes, but my head told her "nope."

"Well, we're meetin' Parker for a quick bite and then we'll be off, okay?"

My mind was somewhere else. I nodded.

"Cath, ya sure ya—"

"Yea, I'm sure. I need to get away from here."

She put the car in reverse, and we backed out of the driveway.

She hadn't even put it in drive yet, when I asked my first question.

"You ever meet Kathleen?"

"Twice, I think."

"How long were they together?"

"Month or so. I don't think it was ever serious."

"Any idea why they broke up?"

"Well, from what I remember Parker saying, she liked to party, a lot. Lonnie changed when his momma got sick. He lost all interest the bar scene. Last night, was a …well, I don't know what last night was, but it wasn't normal. Parker's been tryin' to get him to come out for ages. Why?"

"I think they make a cute couple."

"Sugah, ya ain't normal," she said.

 _Tell me something I don't know._

"He's so lonely. It's just …sad. I think they look good together."

"What are ya talkin' about darlin'? You're here!"

"You know what I mean, Penny."

"Well, I think you and him look good together!"

I chuckled a bit. "Yea, for three more days."

"A lot can happen in three days, sweetie."

I had to smile to myself, because she was trying to play matchmaker for me and Lonnie.

"Ya love him, dontcha?" she asked.

I looked at her. I couldn't tell if she was joking or serious, but it was ridiculous either way.

"Don't be silly. I've known him for all of a week."

"Sweetie, there ain't no time frame on when you can start lovin' someone. Do ya?"

I put my face in my hands to hide my frustration.

"Penny …I don't know even know what love is. It doesn't matter anyway …I'm going to be on a plane in three days and I'll never see him again."

 _I'll really never see him again._

That thought depressed me more than I thought it would.

We pulled into a spot right outside of the restaurant.

"Are ya thinkin' 'bout him and her bein' alone together, right now?" she asked.

I nodded.

"Does it make feel like ya wanna throw up all over my nice clean car mat?"

I looked over to her. I must have given her a look that satisfied her curiosity.

"Yep, ya love him."

* * *

The Magnolia Café was just across from the police station. Parker was on duty, so we me him there for lunch.

He was seated at the table and stood when we walked in. I didn't know guys still did that.

We ordered our food and chatted about our plans for the day. Penny informed him of the whole Lonnie situation, and I requested that the conversation be Lonnie free. He agreed, but only after I promised him that I'd ask Lonnie to come to dinner tonight at their house.

I guess he didn't get the frustration I was feeling. I'm sure Penny will explain it to him when we don't show up.

When the food came, Parker looked at me like I had three heads. "What in tarnation are ya doin' to those fries, girl?"

He made it sound like I was committing some sort of blasphemy.

"You've never had gravy on your fries?" I asked in disbelief.

The face he made told me no, he never had.

"Oh, good Lord, here …try it." I put a few fries on a separate plate and added a few spoons of gravy.

"Are ya tryin' to poison me?" he asked.

"Wait just a minute!" I said. "You laughed at me when I wouldn't eat a crawdad, but you refuse to at least try gravy on your fries? You do realize it's just gravy …and potatoes, and not some creature with a face looking at you."

He wrinkled his nose and pushed the plate away. "Thanks, but I think I'll pass."

Having lunch with these two turned out to be very enjoyable. They were adorable together, but it was time for Parker to get back to work. He leaned down and kissed Penny goodbye. "Love ya, darlin," he told her. "PS, I love you," she whispered. He said his goodbye to me and headed back to the station.

I had just started to ask her about her little goodbye message when I heard a familiar voice.

"Afternoon, ladies. How y'all?"

I looked up to see Chief Gillespie tipping his hat in our direction.

We didn't even have a chance to return the greeting, before he addressed me directly.

"Ms. Morgan, I must say, I'm a little surprised you're still here. People usually take my advice … _especially my officers_."

Uh oh.

"Well …sir, I really didn't think I was in any danger, and as you can see, I'm fine. Lonnie tri—"

Penny cleared her throat to cut me off. When I glanced at her, I noticed that she was very subtly shaking her head. I kept my mouth shut and turned my attention back to the chief.

"Yea, well, I hope you're enjoyin' your time here," he said. He seemed quite genial, so I put any worries out of my head.

"I am, thank you. I actually love it here."

He chuckled under his breath.

"Ya know, they say, 'people that live here are stuck, if they like it here, they're stupid'."

Penny sucked in her breath, shocked at his remark.

"Chief! How could ya ever say such a thing!"

"Well, now, I didn't say I believed it …it's just somethin' people say, is all."

"Well why on Earth would ya even repeat such nonsense! I happen to love livin' here, and I am far from stupid!" she declared.

She was clearly upset and I noticed several customers beginning to stare.

The chief was dumbstruck. I felt a little sorry for him because I don't think he meant anything by it and I seriously doubt he believed it, he was just attempting to make small talk.

"Miss Ross, I do apologize …oh Lord, I didn't mean to offend …Joann! I need a cuppa coffee here!" he said, pointing to a table a few spaces from ours.

He started to walk away and then quickly turned back to me.

"Young lady, you listen here, I expect to see my sergeant bright and early Monday mornin' ...in one piece." His tone was deceivingly sweet and it made me feel uncomfortable.

"Excuse me?" I said.

So much for geniality.

He tipped his hat and continued on to his table.

When he sat down, I stood up. I had every intention of going over to him, but before I could say a word, Penny grabbed my arm and we were out the door and on our way to the car.

"Oh, that man makes me so mad!" she fumed.

"What the hell's his problem?" I asked.

"Who knows! I never liked him much. Sometimes, he's so belittling to Parker, but Parker swears by him; says he's tough as nails and twice as sharp …Oh! I am so mad I could spit!"

"It's creepy, the way he said …"I expect to see my sergeant in one piece." It sounded …indecent to me. Did you hear it?" I asked.

"Oh yes, I heard it. He must think you're gonna break Lonnie," she said, as we pulled out of the parking spot.

I looked over to see a wide sneaky grin on her face.

I couldn't help but smile.

"Well, I don't think I'll break him," I said, " but I sure would like to try to make him walk funny."

We both busted out laughing.

I think I found my new best friend.

* * *

The small brick rancher screamed country; from the flower beds near the curb to the rockers on the front porch. It was beautiful. The inside was just as perfect. I wouldn't have expected anything less from a southern belle.

"Penny, you have a beautiful home."

"Thank ya darlin'. Truth be told, it's Parker's house. I been here about a year, now."

"Well, that makes it your house too, doesn't it?"

She smiled. "Yea, I guess it does. Still getting used to it. C'mon, let's see if we can find ya a bathin' suit for tomorrow."

There was a huge orange tabby sprawled out across her bed.

"I knew Parker was a cat man," I said.

"Well, he wasn't at first. Still question it now sometimes, but my Leo here was part of the package. Before I moved in I told Parker, where I go, Leo goes." She picked him up and cuddled up to him. "He's my family."

"You guys ever talk about kids?"

"Oh sure. Parker wants a baseball team, can ya imagine that!" she said with a nervous laugh. "I reckon we'll start as soon as I say 'I do' …If he ever gets around to askin'."

"You know he will. He's crazy about you."

She smiled. "Well, he better get a move on it. I ain't gettin' any younger."

"Lonnie wants kids too. Somebody's gonna be so damn lucky."

"Now I done told ya earlier, anythin' can happen. Ya don't know where you'll be in a year …5 years. Look at me!"

She didn't know my whole story, so I told her everything _,_ and _showed_ her … _everything_.

I expected her to look horrified at seeing my scars, but instead, she looked sad.

"Oh, Cath. I'm so sorry. I didn't know you couldn't have anymore."

I sat on the bed feeling sorry for myself.

"Yeah, well, Lonnie made it clear, I have something he doesn't want, and he wants something I can't give him, so there's no chance …even if I lived next door."

"Did he actually say that to you?"

"It doesn't matter," I said, as I laid back on the bed. "Oh, I messed up bad, Penny. I messed up so bad. I should have never let this happen. How could let myself fall for him!"

Quiet tears started to fall.

"Well, I would think after ten years, ya were ready to bust!"

"I was handling it fine! I even accepted it as just …you know, the way my life would be forever. And then I met him, with his stupid bare feet and jeans and that stupid country accent."

She smiled and laid down beside me.

"Yeah, well …country boys do kinda put ya under a spell."

She was quiet for just a few seconds, and then said something that changed my whole outlook.

"Ya know, you're welcome to finish your stay here, if ya want."

I sat up. "You'd let me stay here?"

"Course I will! But, Cath …ya gotta know, that plane ride home is gonna hurt either way …no matter where ya stay."

"Trust me, I know."

"Well, why dontcha try to enjoy the last few days ya have with him? Could be a lot of fun."

I fell back on the bed.

"If Kathleen Whearty has her way, I might not have a choice."

* * *

I waved my goodbye as Penny backed out of the driveway. I was so glad that I got to spend some time with her. I really do think we could be best friends. Besides the fact that she offered her home to me, she was brutally honest with me about things and made me realize how crazy I am, trying to fix Lonnie up. She also helped me understand that the rest of my stay could be a lot of fun if I took her advice. It was good advice, but I wasn't sure if I could follow it as easily as she thought possible: love him while I had him.

Sure. Sounds easy. Right?

I turned and headed for the porch. As I got closer to the door I stopped. I could just make out the sound of a piano playing, over the noise from the air conditioner. I opened the screen door slowly, put my ear up to the front door, and listened. Someone was definitely playing the piano, and playing it well, and If Lonnie was the one doing the playing, I wanted to see it.

I opened the front door as slowly as I could, only to find him just standing up from the bench in front of the piano. Damn it, I was too slow.

"Sorry," I said, as I came through the door, "didn't mean to interrupt you."

He brushed it off with a shrug. "Was just messin' around."

He walked over and sat at the kitchen table. There was an open wooden box on the table in front of him and it looked like there were letters and cards laying around it.

"It was beautiful. I didn't know you played."

"Only when I'm in the mood."

 _In the mood, huh?_

I closed the door, leaned against it, and started thinking: What did Kathleen do to put him in the mood? A jealous imagination sure can make up some crazy stuff. My mind started creating all kinds of things that she could have said and they could have done in the last few hours. And then I wondered, what _didn't_ _I do,_ to make him want to play? That bummed me out a little.

I headed over towards him.

"I take it that means you had a nice visit with your friend," I said as innocently as I could. The look that he gave me stopped me dead in my tracks.

"It ain't even like that," he said with a tone that told me not to say another word about it.

I took his tone as a cue to leave him alone, so I went into his bedroom where my bags now were. The welcoming feeling was gone and I was already considering Penny's offer. I tossed the few things she gave me, onto my bags, and sat down on the cedar chest at the foot of his bed trying to decide if I should stay or go.

A few minutes passed when I heard him come to the bedroom door. After a few awkward moments, I turned to see him leaning against the door jam, staring at me.

His face was softer and he looked so damned handsome just standing there. Those butterflies started raging again.

I really didn't want to leave, but I was so damn curious about what Kathleen did to put him in the mood to play, that I had some fishing to do before I made up my mind. If there was even the slightest chance they were going to try again, I would bow out gracefully.

"Did ya enjoy your visit?" he asked.

"I did …Listen, Penny said I could finish my stay at her place, if I wanted to."

He stood up straight.

"Do ya want to?"

"Honestly, no. But, I think it'd be best, considering."

"Considerin' what?"

"Everything! Yesterday, this morning …you and Kathleen."

"There ain't no me and Kathleen!" he demanded, as he came over to me.

"We talked before you came in this morning, Lonnie …and she didn't beat around the bush. She wants you back and she wants _me_ , gone. She made it perfectly clear why she was here."

"I don't care what she said! If ya wanna go, go. I can't make ya stay. But whatever ya decide, ya gotta stop this!"

I walked over to my bags and started to put the things Penny gave me, away.

"I just don't want to be in the way …if you and her—"

He lightly grabbed my arm and turned me around to face him.

"You're not, okay? Drop it," he said. His face softened as he spoke.

It seemed as if he was trying to defuse the situation but I had to know what happened.

"Something obviously happened, Lonnie. I'm not stupid."

"What are ya talkin' about!"

"Well, she did _something_ to put you in the 'mood to play'."

"Wait …Is this about the piano? Aw geez, woman …come here."

He took me by the hand, led me into the kitchen and sat me down at the table in front of that wooden box. He grabbed another chair, pulled it beside me and sat down.

He reached into the box, grabbed a few photos and handed them to me. They were all of him at various young ages, sitting at the piano along with, I'm assuming, his mother.

I looked through them and then looked at him. I didn't know what any of this meant, so I waited.

"Momma taught me to play. It always made her happy, so I played all the time. But, after daddy died, not even the piano cheered her up. So now, I just play when I'm …in my feelins', ya know?"

I shook my head.

"When I'm feelin' down, mostly, and after this mornin' I been feelin' that way …I never should have used that word. I'm sorry."

I could tell that he was being sincere and I knew even this morning that he never meant anything by it, it was just the shock of hearing it directed at me. Now, it was my turn to apologize, sort of.

"Ya know, I could have lived my whole life not knowing what your dead mother thought of me, Lonnie, but I accept your apology. I'm sorry too. I may have made more out of it then I should have. But you have to know I tend to get very defensive when it comes to my daughter, and I won't apologize for that. She's all I have in this world. You'll only understand it when you have your own."

He turned my chair to face him and took my hands in his. I studied them; his hands, so big and strong and callused from being a man …and being a cop. Yet, so tender as they moved against my skin.

"I need to ya to do somethin' for me," he said.

I would probably do anything he asked, truthfully, but for some reason, he was making me nervous.

"What?"

He looked down at our hands as he gave mine a gentle squeeze. He kept his head down as he spoke.

"Well, ya remember what I said about kids …about wantin' my own and not wantin' another man's?"

"Yes."

He looked up at me.

"Forget I ever said it. Can ya do that for me?"

He will never know how impossibly hard he made the rest of my existence.


	10. Chapter 10

Pizza night turned out to be just what I needed.

My mind was still in a whirl from what Lonnie said earlier, and I needed the distraction. He was trying to do ...something, or make me feel differently, I could tell. But there was, of course, no possible way to forget what he said on that first day. In fact, it's been kind of a safety net for me. Knowing that he wants kids, and I can't give them to him, will almost make leaving him bearable. Of course, there was also the fact that I already have a child, and I will never forget what he said about that.

Penny and I were sitting out on the back patio, while Lonnie and Parker were in the house getting the drinks.

"Thank you for having us over. I needed this."

"You're very welcome, sweetie. Don't ya wish we could do it more often?"

"I do," I said with the most sincerest smile I've ever given anyone.

I had just started to tell her what he said, when the guys made their way from the house. Lonnie's hands were filled with mason jars, and Parker was carrying a huge pitcher of tea.

"Cath, yer in for a real treat," he said, as he sat the pitcher on the table. "I make the best house wine in the south."

"House wine?"

Lonnie chuckled and looked at me. "Sweet tea," he said, as he sat down.

Parker looked crushed.

"Pay him no mind. Now ...my wine is a special blend of teas, herbs, spices, and other _secret ingredients_ that make it so good, that people have been after me for years for the recipe."

He filled up a mason jar, handed it to me, and waited. I took a sip and choked.

"My God, Parker! How much sugar is in this!"

"Never ya mind. How'd it taste?"

I cleared my throat and took another drink.

"Actually ...it's not bad."

"Enjoy," he said with a smile that was as big as I knew his heart was.

The four of us ate, laughed, and chatted, for the better part of two hours and I had never enjoyed myself more. As I looked around the table at my new friends, I had my very first official thoughts of what my life might be like, here. Of course, they were just thoughts; my family and future is in Maryland. But, I couldn't help to dream, especially when I would glance at Lonnie and catch him looking at me.

The sun was fully set now and the conversation was turning to the plans for the pond tomorrow, when I remembered something.

"Oh! I forgot to tell you guys, Penny and I ran into your chief at lunch today. I don't think he cares for me too much."

Parker came right to his defense.

"Oh, he can be crotchety, but he's darn near the best chief we ever had. He's fair, but tough, and just about everybody in Sparta is plum terrified of him. And that missy, makes for a good chief."

"He looks like he's a hundred years old!" I said. "When are one of you going to step in and take over?"

"Parker can have it all he wants," Lonnie said. "Ya can count me out. Indian Tilly told me bein' chief wasn't in my future."

"Who?" I asked.

"Oh, don't start with that nonsense!" Penny said, crossing her arms.

Parker looked at me with such a serious expression. "She's a seer," he said in a hushed tone.

"Who is?" I whispered.

"Indian Tilly! She's known all 'round these parts 'cause she sees the future."

I looked at Penny and pursed my lips trying to hold in my laughter, and then I looked at Lonnie.

"So, because some …fortune teller, tells you that being chief is not in your future …you're not even gonna try?"

Parker spoke up. "Oh, ya can't go wrong listening to Indian Tilly. Trust me. In all my years, I ain't never seen her steer anybody wrong. She's even helped us on a few cases."

I chuckled. "Oh, come on! I cannot believe that you two believe in that mumbo jumbo. It's 1987, for Pete's sake!"

"Well," Lonnie said, "she also told me 'bout you."

I shot him a quick look.

"Me?"

"Yep, first time I met her."

"Oh, man ...This I gotta hear!" I said, as I got myself more comfortable in the chair.

We were all ready to hear his story, when Parker's beeper went off.

He checked it and looked at Penny.

"They're beepin' us with 9's, darlin' …somethin big's goin' on. I gotta go."

He jumped up, and I'm sure out of habit, Lonnie did too.

Penny looked slightly worried as she got up and followed Parker into the house. Lonnie started to take off too, but caught himself. He stopped, turned around and looked back at me, still seated and a little panicked myself.

I could tell that he was torn between going and staying.

It was sweet, I thought, that he even took me into consideration, but who was I to keep him from his job. It's in his blood, and I knew it, so I stood up and did the only thing I could.

"Go," I said.

"I'm still on vacation. I don't have to."

I smiled because curiosity and excitement were written all over his face.

"Yes, you do. Go."

He thought for a quick second, came over and grabbed me, kissed me hard and fast, and then took me by the hand and quickly led me through the house, giving me orders along the way.

"Ya stay here til I get back."

"Okay."

"I don't know what's goin' on, or how long I'll be, but, do not leave this house."

"Okay!"

We ended up at the vette. He got his badge clip from the glove box and clipped it to his belt.

"Promise me you won't leave," he said almost sounding like he was second guessing his decision to go.

"Lonnie, I promise! I will not leave this house until you come for me."

He went to the back, opened the trunk, moved some stuff around, and pulled out a small lockbox. I watched as he put in a code and pulled out a handgun.

I stood there frozen, watching the whirlwind in front of me, and all of a sudden it became real. This was serious.

As he was clipping the gun to the side of his belt, he glanced over to Parker and Penny, beside the jeep. I looked over, too. They were locked in an embrace.

I looked back at Lonnie and wondered if he had ever had anyone worry about him like that.

I knew Penny would be telling Parker her special little I love you, and deep down I wanted to tell Lonnie how I felt, but I couldn't. I still felt stupid for saying it the first time, and after the events of this morning, I knew I would feel even more stupid. So, I said the first thing that came to mind.

"Officer Jamison, you be safe so you can come back and see me, okay?"

I smiled as I thought back to the first time I said that to him. It was only five days ago, yet it seemed like a lifetime.

He smiled so sweetly. "Yes, ma'am. Ya can count on it."

Be still my heart.

Penny and Parker had their little 'thing', and it seems, we did too.

"Ya know, I could get used to this," he said, standing there with his hands on his hips, looking so damn sexy.

"What?"

"Havin' ya worry about me."

 _Damn the world. Damn the whole world!_

I practically ran to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. He pulled me close and we just held each other.

"Lonnie, I—"

He put his lips softly on mine to shut me up. Maybe he knew what I was going to say, and saved me from myself.

I wrapped my arms tighter around his neck. We stood as one for just a few moments, when I heard Parker's beeper go off again.

"Lonnie," he called over, "we need to go."

He eased his hold, and I reluctantly did the same.

"Promise me you'll stay in the house," he lovingly demanded.

"Only if you promise me you'll come back."

He kissed me hard. It wasn't the goodbye kind of kiss; it was the …I'll see you later kind. It was also the kiss that would forever etch in my memory, the taste of Parker's sweet house wine.

"Promise," he said.

Parker was backing the jeep out of the driveway as Lonnie caught up to him. He slowed down just enough for him to jump in, and off they went, but not before a quick glance back to me, along with a gesture to get inside the house.

I became anxious and quite angry with myself for not telling him how I felt.

"I should have told him that I loved him."

Penny wrapped her arms around me.

"You'll be able to tell him soon enough, sweetie."

"How do you deal with it?" I asked, as I watched the tail lights fade away.

"Well, sugah, ya worry yaself sick about 'em and pray real hard that they come home ...and when they do ...ya show 'em how happy ya are that they did."

I looked over at her.

Based on the look on her face, I had an idea of what she meant, but still being a newbie to sex and the innuendos that come with it, I needed her to clarify.

"What exactly do you mean, show them?"

Just like that, her face changed. She became like a giddy teenager on a sleepover with her best friend.

She grabbed my hand. "Come on, let's pour a glass of _real wine_ and do each other's nails!"

* * *

I sat, curled up in the armchair, in the quiet of the bedroom, just staring out the window into the blackness of the backyard. My thoughts were all over the place; from Cay, to the excitement of going home to her, to the sadness I knew was coming when I do leave. I tried to remember all of the little details of the past week as well, but my mind always came back to Lonnie and what he was going through right now. My heart was heavy.

I didn't know if I could go through with my little 'welcome home' plan, after what happened, but Penny made it clear, that regardless of the night he had, and especially if it was a bad night, to show him how happy I was that he came home safe. She gave specific, explicit instructions, too. It seemed that this sweet southern belle had a freaky side.

 _No wonder Parker was always smiling._

I glanced over at the clock to see the red numbers flicker 1:12 am. Movement out of the corner of my eye made me look toward the bedroom door, and there stood Lonnie. I don't know how long he had been standing there watching me, but he was home, safe.

My emotions took control and I ran to him.

"Thank you God, thank you God!" I said, as I reached around his neck and grabbed him, pulling myself up to straddle him. His arms crossed under my bottom to hold me up.

We stood there for a few moments before I threw caution to the wind, and whispered in his ear, "Lonnie, I love you. I swear I do." I had to say it. Right now, I just wanted him to know it.

He squeezed me a little tighter.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly against my neck.

"I love you, too."

It was my turn to do some squeezing, because I believed him.

After a few moments, I leaned away from him to see his face. He looked drained. I could not imagine what he experienced, tonight.

I lowered my legs to the floor.

"I'm so sorry about your friend," I said.

"How did you —"

"We heard it on the news. They said something about a robbery and a shootout, and that one cop was killed and one wounded. Penny called the station and found out that you and Parker were okay. They wouldn't tell us who got shot, just that you two were safe."

I could tell he was hurting.

"We lost John."

"I'm so sorry."

"I was standing right beside him," he added.

When that sunk in, I grabbed onto him again and just held him, all the while thanking God for allowing him to come home to me.

After a few minutes, my motherly instincts kicked in.

"You hungry or thirsty? I can get you something."

He shook his head against me.

"You must be tired. We—"

"I'm not tired," he said, as he pushed my hair back and kissed my neck.

And just like that, the motherly instincts turned off and the womanly instincts turned on ...and they were very turned on.

Penny's words echoed in my head:

 _Show him how happy you are, that he came home safe._

That was how the plan started out, but right now, I just wanted to help him forget the pain for a while. In the end, it would be the same outcome; a very happy man.

I reached down, took his hands in mine, and led him over to the chair.

I pulled his shirt over his head and lightly caressed his chest. His body was so scarred, but it was strong, and yet, there was a tenderness about his features that made me weak in the knees; somewhat boyish, in my mind. He was so beautiful.

I noticed how my freshly painted red nails stood out against his skin, and I smiled inside, thinking about what I had planned.

"Ya hair's different ..." he said, as he lifted a handful to his nose.

I smiled a little, giddy that he noticed.

" ...and ya smell real nice."

"Why thank ya, kind sir," I said in my fake southern accent. "I'm not knocking your Irish Spring, or anything, but it is nice to smell like a girl again. I pampered myself, a bit tonight. Penny has a whole arsenal of sprays and lotions ...and a hair dryer was all it took to tame this mop."

"We're goin' out tomorrow to buy a hair dryer," he said.

I was happy that he liked it, but there was no need to buy anything, with my time being so short.

"No, we're not. I'm leav—"

"I know, okay," he said rather shortly.

Frustrated, I rested my head on his chest. I didn't want to do or say anything to upset him. I moved my hands to his back. I needed to touch him; every inch that I could. When my hands made their way back around to his chest, I caught site of my nails again and decided to put the plan in motion.

"Guess what else I did," I said with the most seductive voice I could muster, without laughing.

"What?"

I rubbed my fingers across my lips, slid my middle finger into my mouth and pulled it out nice and slow.

Did I feel cheesy? Yes. Did it work? Oh, yes.

His mouth hung open but only for a fast second.

"Damn," he whispered.

I slid it in and out, again.

He immediately started kicking his shoes off and unbuttoning his jeans.

"When we got here, Parker told me he hoped I had red nails waitin', but I didn't know what he meant."

 _Good ole' Parker._

I smiled as I helped him get out of his jeans.

"Well, now you know," I said with a sly smile.

I gently nudged him into the seat. I wanted him to be comfortable while I was showing him how grateful I was that he came home safe.

I looked down at him sitting there, naked as the day is long, and gorgeous from head to toe. I definitely have a new appreciation for the male body.

I noticed his face change. He was the one now with the sly smile.

"You look happier than a pig in slop," I said.

"Well now, listen to you soundin' all country."

"A girl can learn a lot from Dukes of Hazzard."

"Oh yea? You a Bo girl, or a Luke girl?"

"I kinda got my eye on a lawman," I said, as I pulled off my night shirt to reveal a short, black, lace teddy. There was so much lace that I still felt covered, safe, and very sexy. None of my scars were visible, so no need for my band. It was a little small, but Penny assured me it looked fine, and by the look in Lonnie's eyes, he approved.

I started to get down on my knees between his legs when he reached for my arms.

"Come up here."

"Don't you want me to show you how happy I am that you came home?" I playfully whispered, as I straddled his lap.

"No. I wanna show ya how happy I am."

Damn.

He cupped my breasts through the fabric and slowly slid his hands around my waist and pulled me close.

The kiss was intense. It was deep, delicious, and it was emotional.

I felt it; he loved me.

He had no idea what he was doing to me.

"Girl, ya don't know what you're doin' to me," he whispered.

I smiled as I slid my tongue across his bottom lip.

"Stay outta my head, Lonnie Jamison."

It didn't take long before we ended up on the floor. I expected a quick fuck because I knew he was tired, but I was so very wrong. He made love to me, slow as molasses.

It was more emotional than I ever expected, but I felt his love. I only hoped he felt mine.

Afterwards, he pulled himself up onto his elbows and rested his face right above mine. I wiped the pouring sweat from his forehead and down the sides of his face.

"Sorry," he said.

"Are you kidding? I love making you sweat."

"Is that right?" he asked with such a smug look on his face.

He kissed me and rolled over onto his back.

I looked over at him. "Hey, what were you gonna say, right before you came?"

He turned towards me and just stared.

I waited for a minute and when he didn't answer I sat up and stretched. I started to get up when he spoke.

"I wanna be the one to fuck ya every night for the rest of your life."

Now it was my turn to stay silent. I didn't know what to say.

He sat up, kissed me on my shoulder, took another smell of my hair and went to take a shower.

* * *

When I came back into the bedroom after my shower, Lonnie was curled up under the covers. There was just enough light from the lamp across the room for me to make out his features. He looked like he was sleeping, so I slid in as careful as I could, only to find him awake and waiting for me.

"C'mere," he said, as he pulled me close.

I could feel his soft cock against my bottom as we spooned.

He put his leg over my thigh to anchor me to him, but he didn't have to worry, I wasn't going anywhere.

His breathing became softer and more even, and if it weren't for the small circles he was tracing on my arm, I would have thought he was asleep.

I had never known anyone that experienced a loss like he did tonight, so I was a little concerned.

"You okay?" I asked him.

"Mhmm."

"Anything you wanna talk about?"

"Nah. Just thinkin' if I should tell ya what Tilly said now, or another time."

I excitedly turned around to face him.

"You wouldn't have brought it up if you didn't want to tell me now."

He smiled, because I was right.

"You don't believe, do ya?" he asked, as he put his leg up over my thigh again, pulling me closer.

Bliss!

"About as much as I believe in wishing on falling stars. But, I'll admit, I'm a little curious."

"Well …when I was a kid, Tilly used to own a restaurant. People would come in from all over to have a meal and have her do a readin' for 'em. She would answer their questions about their futures or love life, or whatever. Right after I turned thirteen, momma took me there to have her do a readin' on me."

"Your mom believed?"

"Oh, sure. Most old timers do."

I was very conscious of the small circles he was tracing, now on my back, because they were almost hypnotic.

"After we were done eatin', Tilly came over and sat down. She asked Momma what she wanted to know and pulled this little tin cup out of a velvet bag."

His eyes looked past me as he spoke, and I knew he was lost in the moment remembering that day.

"Tilly said some words that I didn't understand and emptied the cup across the table. Little bones spread out all over. My eyes 'bout jumped outta my head, but momma just sat there waitin' for Tilly to read 'em and tell us what they said. First thing she told us, was I was gonna be a cop. I don't think Momma was too happy by her face, but she believed, so she didn't question it. Tilly told me about bein' chief and a few other things ..."

He came back to this moment and looked at me.

" ...I thought we were done, but before she stood up, she told me 'bout you."

I didn't believe in any of this, but for his sake, and knowing the night he had, I decided to play along.

"Oh yeah? And what did she say about me?"

"She told me ya were gonna be the love of my life," he said in such a matter of fact way, that I was taken aback.

I was determined to stay level headed, because deep down, I knew this was ridiculous, but an unexpected warmth filled my body.

I didn't want him to think I was ridiculing him, so I kept my tone playful.

"I'm sure, when you were thirteen, this fortune teller's bones told you that Cath Morgan was going to come here from Maryland and be the love of your life."

He smiled. "Well, she didn't use those words, no."

"Then how do you even know it's me?"

"She told me I'd know it was you because ya carried a piece of my momma."

"What?"

"I didn't know what it meant myself, until that night in the kitchen, ya told me your daughter's name. I knew for sure after that. It's you."

This was getting ridiculous.

"A coincidence, Lonnie. That's all."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is. Please tell me you don't really beli—"

"There's another reason, too," he said.

"What?"

He pushed the hair behind my ear and lightly ran his thumb across my cheek.

"I want it to be you."

He took my breath away, literally, but only for a brief second. His words rang through my head, just like they've done a hundred times since that first day, and I came quickly back to reality.

 _"I don't think I could raise another man's child."_

I could tell that he was waiting for me to respond, but this could never be, so why pretend?

 _Change the subject, Cath._

"You know, I have to say, I'm a little surprised that someone as smart as you would believe in any of this. The fact that she told you that you would never be chief, will probably keep you from even trying, and that alone will make it true. There's no mystery in that Lonnie ...It's brainwashing. You have to know that."

He let go of me and rolled over onto his back.

I could tell he was a little ticked, and I'm betting it's because I ruined another one of his 'romantic' moments, but I am not playing any games. I am leaving.

"She didn't say I would never be chief."

"Well, whatever she said!"

Now it was my turn to be pissed. I rolled on to my back. Part of me was wondering if he was making this up, but then I remembered where I was. The south was famous for its belief in voodoo and dark magic.

I looked over at him. He had one arm behind his head and was staring at the ceiling. As I watched him, a question popped in my head, but for some weird reason I was afraid of it; afraid to ask it. An actual chill ran through my body because it felt almost as if I was being willed to ask. Now I was the one being silly.

"Lonnie?"

"Hmm?"

"What exactly did she say?"

He turned to me.

"She said I wouldn't live long enough to be chief."

The urgency with which I responded surprised even me. I rolled my body on top of his and took his face in my hands. My playful tone was gone.

"Now you listen to me, Lonnie Jamison ...none of that is real ...none of it! Do you hear me!? Don't believe any of it! Not about you being chief and not even about me. It's just a bunch of bullshit! You are going to live to be an old crotchety bastard just like Gillespie!"

I caught a glimpse of a smirk at that last remark.

"Okay," was all he said.

I knew he was just trying to pacify me; to ease my heart, but it didn't work.

"Lonnie, plea—"

He gently rolled me back onto my side and rolled over himself to face me.

"It's okay," he said.

I wasn't satisfied with okay.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down to rest on my chest.

No other words were spoken between us. I held him to me until I knew for certain he was asleep.

The tears quietly running down my face were making little wet spots on the pillow and for the second time that night, I prayed.

I held him a little tighter as I myself drifted off; not because I believed in any of the nonsense, but because I knew he did.


End file.
